How To Carry Your Strength

Liking someone is different from loving someone. Liking someone is because of the looks or something that interests you. If you love someone, there is a big reason behind it. It is so big that you can't even figure what it is.

"Do you love me?" The girl in front of me asked.

I wanna say I love her but I don't want to. I can't lie to her. I like her, and that's all. There is no love at all.

I didn't answered but hug her instead. We used to take a walk every night.  Every night she's asking me the same question, and I hug her as an answer. The moon and stars are the witnesses of how she loved me.

One day, she sent an email,  telling me to meet her at our favorite cafe at 19:00.

"How's your day?" She asked.

"Something unusual happened." I answered.

"What happened? Do you missed me?" She ask with a bright smile. That smile is the reason why I liked her.

"Of course not." Her smile has been wiped out of her face.

"My mom told me to court you." I stated the fact.

"You don't have to! I love you, and I can give my soul to you anytime!" She's excited. And there, I saw the biggest smile she ever had.

"I don't want to." I said, without thinking about her.

Her eyes had been watered. And I hate to see her like that.

I pulled her closer to me and hugged her, for 357 times.

She asked me, "Do you love me?" For almost 358 times.

I don't know what to do. My body got froze and I can't move an inch.

"You didn't love me." That is not a question, it is more like a statement .

"We met here at our favorite cafe, 358 days ago. I asked you if you love me for almost 358 times!" Her voice raised. "And you done nothing but hugging me! F*ck your hug! I'm done waiting for your love! I wasted my 358 nights with you!" She bursted. Her tears are flowing down to her cheeks.

"And tonight will be my last night to spend with you." She added before running. Away from the cafe. Away from me.

I ran after her and saw her crossing the street, without thinking of the fast vehicles. That may hit her.

"Satell-" I was about to call her name when a car hit her.

That was the most painful night I had.

One month after the accident, I came to visit her at their house. Her legs are completely mess. I'm the reason why she lost her walking ability. And I'm guilty of that.

I saw her sitting at her wheelchair.

"Lets go out. Tonight." I ask her but she's only staring at the window, where I can only see the moon, stars, the street where we always take a walk, and my reflection.

She didn't answered.

That's why I decided to lift her up and put her at my back.

"What are you doing!" She screamed.

"I'm carrying my strength."

"Put me down!" I don't understand why she has to scream.

"How could I put you down? You can't walk. Right?"

That made her stop from screaming.

"I'm sorry, let's just take a walk like we used to do. But this time, I'm gonna be your walking machine and you're gonna be my battery."

She didn't answered but I can feel her tears that wetting my shirt.

That night, I carried her at my back and never felt tired. I took her to our favorite places. The cafe, park, seaside, and 24th avenue, where they live.

Visiting her has been my daily routine. Every night, I will pick her up from their house, to different places.

With her, everything is so different. She smiles sometimes, but she's trying her best to hide her it.

The days passed so fast. Tonight is the 358th night that I carried her at my back.

"Are you tired?" She asked.

"How could I be tired if I'm carrying my strength? I'm not gonna run out of energy as long as you're with me." I stated that made her blush.

"It's the 358th night that I carried you."

"You're just guilty, you don't have to-" I cut her out.

"Yes, I am guilty. But that's not the reason why I'm here, right now. If I'm just guilty, I will never be here, carrying you every night." Tears came from her beautiful eyes.

"I love you. It is only late before I realize. And I hate myself because of that. I hate myself because things happened because of that.  Because of my stupidity. I don't like you Satella. I love you." I can feel the warm from my eyes.

I put her down.

"You asked me if I love you for almost 358 times. I answered you 358 times by carrying you at my back. But we will never be tied. I will always look up on how you loved me. I am always ready to carry you as my strength."

I kissed her like it was the first time I kissed a girl. I gave my heart to my strength.

"It's worth losing pair of legs, huh?" She said after we kissed each other.

We laughed and held each other under the moon and stars.

From the day I realized that I love her, I discovered how could I carry my strength.

Author's note:
Thank you for reading my nonsense 😂. Don't forget to leave a  vote and read my other works.  😘💕❤