Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed

Chapter One: What's to Discuss, Old Friend?

Takes place after Alice and FP's embrace when she admits that she and him share a child.

After what seemed like days of standing in each other's arms, FP hesitantly pulled away and gestured to the couch for Alice to sit. Her facial expression resembled the crippling devastation he felt inside. Not just devastation, but an amalgamation of guilt, confusion and a feeling of being outside his body. How was one to act in a situation like the one he was in now? Until recent months, Alice and him hadn't seen one another for 20 years. They lived two separate worlds - Alice, who lived on the Northside of Riverdale, spent her days as an arguably unethical journalist and balancing her role as a Stepford wife to Hal Cooper, to whom she had two daughters: Elizabeth and Polly. FP lived in a world of crime, trauma, gangs and murders, spending his nights immersed in bottles of hard liquor to drown out the darkness. His world was a lonely one; a wife he hadn't seen in a year, along with his daughter Jellybean. He had become accustomed to being without his wife, but the gaping whole of agony in his heart and longing for his young daughter grew stronger as each day passed. An aching that had been tolerable since having Alice back in his life again. After longevity separation, his feelings for her were still just as powerful.

Still, how was he to respond to the information that him and Alice shared a son: Charles Smith, who was now deceased. FP was tormented by his frustration. How could he mourn someone he didn't know? Whether it was his son or not, FP never had the chance to take on the role of being his father. Was he mourning for a life him and Alice could have had together if she told him the truth sooner? He didn't know. He glances over to Alice. Her back hunched over and head in her hands, as though she had been subject to an immense stab wound to the chest. Her breathing was a combination of heavy and slow breathing, a battle between slowing her heart rate whilst on the edge of hyperventilation. FP stood up and walked to the kitchen, his feet heavy beneath him. After getting a bottle of water from the refrigerator, he returned and offered the cool liquid to Alice. She obliged, nodding a thank you. He sat down next to her and remained silent and still until her breathing had slowed. Almost in role reversal, FP leaned forward and placed his head in his hands. He wasn't used to these situations of such heightened emotion. "Why didn't you tell me, Al? About our son?"

Alice grimaced, glancing away as though she had witnessed something repulsive. She took a gulp of water and turned to him, her eyes bloodshot and cold. She shook her head. "Many reasons. There's a moment for these things, FP, and then it p-, it passes. I wanted to tell you, and I tried. The night of homecoming, remember? I came to you and said I needed to talk to you. You said you weren't interested in what I had to say. I begged, I pleaded, but you turned away. That night you looked at me with such hatred, FP" Alice recalled, her hands shaking as she wiped away a tear. "And you were at the dance with some other girl, I figured you had moved on."

FP tightened his lips, his expression read resentment but his tone of voice inherited a softness. "Well Jesus Alice, what was I supposed to do? You made your mind up - Hal over me. Did you want me to just wait around and pine after you all of my life?" Alice looked up at him, guilt washing over her. She couldn't pluck up the courage to even respond. FP softened. "I still loved you Alice. I would have done anything for you. I was just... angry. You should have told me."

Alice glanced up at him, bitterness radiating from her. "And what difference would it have made, FP? How would telling you that I was pregnant be of any benefit? I couldn't have kept him. Tell me, honestly, would you have wanted him?" FP shook his head and went to say something before stopping himself. "How can you ask me that Alice? I wasn't given the opportunity" he hissed. "But you know what, yeah I would have. Is that so bad to have wanted us to have a life together?" Alice gave him a scolding look, as if what he were suggesting was unreasonable.