"What are you thinking about, love?" he questioned, snapping me out of my trance. I shook my head ever so slightly and his index finger and thumb lightly cupped my chin, urging me to look up at him. My eyes flitted up to his, his gaze gently assessing me.
"Nothing," I murmured, looking down immediately as my fingers absently traced patterns against his chest. He sighed heavily as he pulled me closer to him, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "I just..." I continued, trailing off as I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. How on earth will I tell him this? It's so frustrating.
"You just what?" he gently pressed on, his fingers wrapping around my wrist and pulling my hand away from my face. "Tell me." I willed myself to open an eye, finding him staring at me with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I chewed my lower lip and stared up at him, gathering all the strength and courage I could muster.
"I want you to take me," I blurted out, feeling positive that my face is blushing beet red. For a moment he seemed stunned, taken aback by my request. And then he slowly flashed me a shy smile, gazing down at me with hooded eyes.
"Is that what you want? Right now?" He whispered, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind my ear. I nodded assent, too nervous to say something; I felt very agitated and embarrassed for asking. We were lying on our sides, staring at each other for a few moments. What could he be thinking? I hope he won't turn me down. It will only add to my flustered state. His gaze grew darker, green eyes melting gradually into mine, sparking a fire deep inside me.
"Are you sure?" he finally asked. His voice was low and soft, making the muscles deep in my belly clench sweetly at the sound. Oh, if only you knew, I thought.
"Yes...if that's what you want too," I flushed, blinking rapidly at him.
"Of course," he responded, never taking his eyes off mine. "I'm sure about what I want. I'm just worried about you."
"Oh." I frowned. "I feel certain about doing it now." Was he trying to say that he didn't want to touch me unless I wanted him to? Was he waiting for the green light? He knew I never had any experiences with any other guy. Surely it was because of that?
"Are you now?" he smirked playfully, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, nodding lightly. My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it. I never thought it would come to this point. But I always knew that it would be him. He was so sweet and charming to me. He told me before that he would wait for me even if it would take forever, and my heart swelled with love for him. Oh how I love and trust him with all my heart. I could never picture myself with anyone else. Just him. His humorous, carefree, and alluring self. No wonder I fell for that boy.
I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me, no doubt an internal battle playing in his mind. Would he want to? Would I really let him? We have been staring at each other for an awfully long time now and my hope slowly vanishes like a deflated balloon in a long-forgotten birthday party.
Now's my chance to back out but I... No. I want this. I've already set my mind on it and I trust him enough to do this. "It's okay... I'm ready," I breathed out, leaning in to capture his lips. I didn't even wait for his response. This is what I really want. I'm not having second thoughts about this. After all, he might have wanted me to make the first move anyway.
It only took him a few seconds before he kissed me back, inhaling sharply through his nose. He gripped my waist as he turned and pressed my body down the bed slowly. He moved on top of me and my body almost shook with excitement. I parted my legs and brought my knees up, his body coming to rest between it.