Messin' With Tha KingPin

Fifthteen

Today I was catching up with Leah and telling her everything. She knew I wasn't staying at home anymore but she didn't know why.

Lucas was the only person who knew what happened between Brennon and I. I still think about that whole situation and it's kinda weird cause I sometimes miss him.

I think I just miss him before he showed his true colors. But I can't go back to him after everything he's done. He's just going to think it's okay to continue to hurt me.

Ever since I've been staying with Lucas I haven't talked to anyone. So it is definitely the time to get back out there.

I know my family is probably thinking something is wrong with me and they don't know where I am.  So now I gotta go over and see my dad and brothers.

I took my time getting ready this morning I even sat down and made myself a big breakfast.  I was home alone since Lucas left me to go handle some business. 

I honestly just wanted to be laid up cuddling with my stuffed animals. Watching movies on BET and Lifetime Network eating snacks. Which is what I've mostly been doing lately like a little old lady.

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2 hours later
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It took me 45 minutes to get dressed after I was finally done fucking around. When it comes to taking a shower and getting ready I procrastinate like crazy.

I'll be up in the mirror acting like I'm in a music video and then when I'm doing my makeup I wanna dance. This is why everyone always tells me an hour before I need to get ready or to arrive.  I'm honestly in my own world most of the time and its most likely going to stay that way.

When I was finally done doing everything I needed to do around the house I was able to leave. Since I've been staying with Lucas he's been letting me use his cars to get around luckily he has three. But I only like his all white bens other than that I'm not fucking with his trucks.

I hopped in the car and plugged in the aux cord of course I had to make sure I was listening to something I liked. So I turned on Cardi B's new album because I could mostly bump to everything on her album.

I turned on Thru Your phone  cause for some reason that song always spoke to me. I pulled out the driveway and started cruising like always I was never in a rush. I always was laid back driving isn't something that I usually do so when I do I'm relaxed.

Leah and I decided to meet up at this one Spanish restaurant that we used to always go to. It took me 15 minutes to get there, once I pulled in I was immediately able to spot out Leah's car. This girl was always on time she was never on colored people time(CPT) like I was that's one thing I loved about her. But it had its pros and cons when it came to doing certain things together.

Leah didn't recognize the car at first but once she saw me hop out the car she immediately ran up to me and hugged me. Its nothing like hugging someone who's absolutely close to you.  Especially when your world is upside down and that's how I honestly feel sometimes.

So seeing Leah was something I've been meaning to do. We talked for hours and just sat in the same booth. We didn't even realize how long we were talking for until the owner told us they were closing soon.

It was one of those good conversations where we could talk about anything and everything. I had my phone turned off all day so that I could give Leah my full attention.

We finally left the restaurant after being there for 3 almost 4 hours. We wanted to chill longer so I decided to go back to her house.

When we got back to her house the last person I thought I would see at her house was there. Leah's Dad Corey I hadn't seen him in years so we did have a whole conversation.

We talked about the past and our future it wa a great conversation. All three of us talked about what's new with us and what we've been up to.

After a while Leah and I went upstairs and watched a movie till we fell asleep. It was pretty much the regular things I would do with Leah. It's just that we haven't done it in so long it feels like that's why it meant so much to me.

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NEXT MORNING
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When I woke up the first thing I did was check my phone. That's when I realized I hadn't turned it back on after last night.

So when I woke up I had hella messages some from my dad, brothers, friends, Brennon and of course Lucas.

He was curious as to why I didn't come home last night. Brennon I didn't even open his text but it was a whole paragraph that I wasn't about to read. I deleted it not even caring what he has to say.

I'm not fully over Brennon yet even though its been a while I was really feeling him but now I'm with Lucas.

Lucas has made me happy in ways that Brennon never did so I'm still stuck in the middle.

Honestly I don't know what to do .. I guess it's best to just let things fall into place ..