The truth is, I'm scared.
Im scared of getting older and not liking it.
The world is expecting a lot of people. Looking for people who have their life together. People who have experience of the world.
Life is just one big expectation to pass through.
I keep saying that i need to. That i need to experience the world and work. I mean im 20. Still living off my family.
But im too afraid to do it.
Im not like my friends who can just go and apply for a job when they want to.
And i dont want to ask them for help because ive relied on them for too much. But i mean im there for them. But its not like i can i just ask them coz why would they want to stay friends with me.
No i have to do this on my own. People are expecting me to have my life together and i cant.
I cant show them how not ready i am for this. I cant do this alone. But i cant ask for help coz then ive failed.
Ive failed myself. I failed my family. I failed my friends. Then they wont stay friends with me anymore.
No i have to do this.
'Apply'
YOU ARE READING
Inner Monologue
SpiritualA transcript of all the very real conversations i have with myself. I want to write them all and show people why im always in my own mind.
