Do not let herself fall

CHAPTER 10 - ANGEL'S WEEP

We started having so many fights.
Days turned to weeks,
No calls , no texts,
One day I met him-
hey boo, let me get this straight, if I start talking to u everyday and night,I obviously gonna get attached to you,
Even if I never planned to be in the first place, I will.
U would have been make sure me before itself, that u will leave me suddenly in this way.
And remember, IAM not getting hurt by ur priorities.
But , misplacement of priorities surely hurts every human. Right?
IAM not asking to text me 24/7 but at least update me on WTF Going on and give me some type of attention of URs.
Sometimes we are friends , sometimes we are more than friends and sometimes,IAM just a stranger to you. One minute, you talk to me as if IAM something special and next minute you behave as if I mean nothing to u.
One day u pay so much attention to me and the other day u start ignoring me.
Don't fuck with my feelings damn because you are unsure about yours.
The day when I met you, "new definition of friendship unfolded within me."
But today , u left me alone playing with my heart.
Forget about crushes and lovers, I hate when someone calls my best friend as their best friend.
IAM designed like this and will be like this forever- I roared, cried and shouted.
But he choosed to walk away without saying a single word.
  ZO WORDS:(Author's note):
The good thing about me is
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.
From the day ,he gifted me CARD to the SORROW which he left.
Our PUZZLE just broke piece by piece, it fell apart.
I have done everything to join them back,
But I found pieces reconnecting with NEW PIECES, which killed me .
But I just want one last look at BEAUTIFUL PUZZLE WE SHARED and I assure I will never let to break it again.
But people started saying, remembering everything leads me to FALL DOWN.
I started waking up in the middle of the nights.
I wished everything to be a dream.
When I woke up, everything felt wrong,
My heart is heavy,
My soul is crying,
My thoughts became negative,
My vision became blurred.
I got a big heart, and that's probably became my biggest downfall.
Everyone is doing something great in their lives,
But I was just sitting and over thinking about every single fucking thing.
I want to run away in the middle of the night and just be somewhere other than here.
EVEN THE SOUND OF HEAVY RAIN AND THUNDER ON DARK NIGHT FOUND SO PEACEFUL TO ME.
Being close to him was easy, but forgetting him was impossible. So, I started to hate.
Unbeknownst to fact, hate kept his memory alive, no matter how hard I tried to kill it.
Finally I became so stupid for caring too much.
Everyone started blaming me.
Everyone started saying ,it was my fault.
I BECAME THE CULPRIT TO THIS WORLD.
People started looking me so CHEAP.
I became fool.
If I really meant to be in his life, nothing could ever make him leave.
No one can replace him in my life.
He came into my life and took me on CLOUD 9
Today , IAM not wishing to stay even on EARTH.
How can he is missing the SMALL SENSE that IAM loving him this much even after he pointed out me wrong,
Imagine, how much I will love him when we are together.
I wish he could hear my heart.
People started suggesting to "STOP LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS AT THE PLACE WHERE I LOST"
But I really didn't know, when these people get to know that MY HAPPINESS IS HIS PRESENCE.
The people around me had mouth to speak and they are using, but I have brain to think which is not wishing to work today.
I always be awake the whole night by over thinking about my feelings and get into a bad mood.
Even after everything seemed to be over, I SAVED EVERY MEMORY IN THE HOPE THAT, ONE DAY WE WILL BE BACK AGAIN.
How can people start creating a bad story about me, there was a time , where I done good things but no one spoke.
Suddenly ALL MY MEMORIES BECAME LIKE STARS IN THE SKY,
THEY TWINKLE IN SKY AND REMINDING MEMORIES ALL THE TIME. BUT AT SAME POINT , THEY ARE MAKING ME REALISE HOW FAR ARE THEY FROM ME.
One day I received a text from him,
DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN
With that his PROFILE PICTURE and LAST SEEN DISAPPEARED.
From"YOU ARE MY HEAVEN "
                      To
           "GO TO HELL" And
" THANKS FOR COMING INTO MY LIFE"
                    To
  " GET LOST"
OUR FRIENDSHIP ENDED
I LEFT WITH TEARS THINKING WHAT WAS MY FAULT.
Is being POSSESSIVE for my OWN THING is that BIG CRIME.?
I really didn't know.
The most pathetic situation I am facing with.
He became the pain , when is he going to become the PAINKILLER for my pain.
No matter, how much he hurt or offend me , I ALWAYS WANT TO BE WITH HIM.
At every stage, iam quitting my feelings and accepting the reality. Why should I ?
A friendship might not be  sexually intimate, but it hurts just as BAD to lose a FRIEND, as it happens in losing a PARTNER, No matter how the loss happens.
But one thing, my heart made clear, that IT WON'T STOP REMEMBERING HIM EVEN AFTER THE SUFFER.
Losing friend is a very sad thing like
" ANGELS WEEP INSTEAD OF SING"
one day it was dark night, I was walking alone on the street nearby our room.
I FELT THE TOUCH ,WHICH I NEVER WISHED AND MADE BE SO INSECURE.