Spaces Between

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*IM BACK*

•CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN•
Panic
(NEW AVENGERS FACILITY)

When Tove and Natasha finally finished, I took the chance to excuse myself. I told Käro I was tired and I left the room as quickly as I could. It was too small, too many people, too many scents, and too much negativity. I couldn't breathe.

I passed a few people as I made my way back to my room. I didn't look at any of them on purpose, keeping my head angled at the floor, but I supposed they all worked for Tony...or at the compound in general.

And no one said a word to me.

My door was just slightly cracked when I reached it. I slowed, creaking it the rest of the way open with my hand. Nothing seemed amiss—but there was an unfamiliar scent leading from my door to my now dry messenger bag sitting on my bed. I sighed in relief, slipping into my room before closing the door behind me.

I went straight to my bag. A touch to the canvas like fabric confirmed that it was truly dry. I unzipped the small pocket in the front, and pulled out Loki's letter.

It was even more crumbled than before, the corners still slightly damp from the rain. With trembling hands, I unfolded it again. I held my breath as I reread it.

Then again.

And again.

And again.

Until my eyes were burning and tears stained the parchment beneath my shaking fingers.  My breath was heavy and shaky; nothing I did was working to calm myself down.  Sinking.  That's what it felt like.  My limbs dragging me down; my chest heavy.

I threw the letter down and stood up.

I was in the bathroom a second later with the sink running.  I rubbed my hands together under the warm water, scrubbing against the black stains on my skin.  It just wouldn't come off.  No matter how much soap I worked into my skin, how hot I turned the water up....

Stained.

Stained like my blood.

My life.

Every time I thought we were out.  Every time I thought nothing more could hurt us...

My skin was raw when I turned off the faucet.  I backed into the wall and sunk to floor.  Sobbing into my arms.

I don't know how long I sat there, wallowing in my own tears and self pity.  I cried so much...for so long, that water just ceased to fall my eyes. 

Until I was just curled up.  Alone.  And shaking.

I don't know how long I laid there before I heard my name being called.

"Lorien?"

I went still at Käro's voice.  I didn't want him to see me like this—but I guess it didn't matter.  He probably found me because of the bond.  He felt what I was feeling.

I didn't lift my head from my arms, "go away."

He didn't.  I heard his paws move from the carpet to the tiled floor of the bathroom.  His snout nudged my arm.