Story time.....

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I wasn't going to update this until friday and this isn't an update but I need this off my chest fast and the internet is the only solution for now.......A few months ago, my crush asked me out. He was a cute German boy and I found him adorable, I've had a crush on him for a year, but I said no.

I said no because I wasn't ready to date and because I knew at one point I would stress out and take it out on him. The next day my friend told me she heared him and the two boys that sit beside him, this happened in Algebra, were doing dares and I thought I dodged a bullet. After I said no he started talking to me less and I thought nothing of it.

I'm not a girl who likes to talk alot and this includes loved ones, I sometimes know my limit and try to get away as fast as I can. He still told me jokes and we still acted like friends, I thought nothig was wrong. Then someone brought up that I should ask him if it was a dare or an actual confession. I thought it was a dare at that point but it would be a dream come true if it was an actual confession. Then I forgot, it happens alot to me as I need to do stuff that I feel has more value to maintain control in my life.

Fast forward to today and I get stuck with my friends and a guy who sits next to my crush in a table. We did most of our work and had some giggles. One being I could speak spanish fluently and it got on their nerves. Then I brought up that I wanted a boyfriend, I said it as a joke because practically every girl wants a boy but doesn't want to get one because they don't want to be bold. That and they like romantic things, so the guy that sits next to my crush, I'll call him Ban for his sake. Ban said that my crush didn't do it on a dare and it was genuine. That my crush thought his life was over and that he had no purpose, now some of that was a joke, I now realize that but I didn't think of that in class.

It is true when they say that love blinds people. After class, I asked my crush if the confession was a dare or genuine.........He didn't know what I was talking about, he acted like I was talking about a story. I dropped it and said, "Okay, then I'll take it like it was a dare."

That statement came out of my own mouth and shattered my heart into pieces. I got ready and put my bag on my back and put my head on my friends shoulder, hiding from every persons face. I tried to steady my breathing, tried not to cry but I did anyways. I told myself not to assume things but I did anyways, my mind always wandered into the He doesn't like me and It's bugging me. A friend of mines yelled at me for being stupid and making up stories in my head.

It was emotional pain........It wasn't physical B***S*** and I felt myself becoming a small twig. She tried to brig up every other sad thing I can cry about in my life......I don't care at this point, it can happen, all I want in the end is for this to be a dream, too bad it isn't. I might delete this.........Bye

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