Meant To Be - Heaven Hill Series #1

Chapter Eleven

William rolled over taking Lauren's body with his. It wasn't very often that they did this, but sometimes they got caught up in the memories and the moment.

Even after what they had just shared, her stomach bunched with nerves. She had to say what was on her mind, but she knew it would not be received well. "You've got to watch it with Liam," she started carefully.

He groaned. He didn't want to hear this. He hated when she acted like she knew her son. The only way to get her to stop was to throw hurtful words back in her face.

"Shut the fuck up," he told her. "You don't know anything about your son, and you especially don't know anything about our relationship. You're the one that left."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she turned away, hiding her face so that he couldn't see. That was the one thing she hated. He always brought up what a bad mother she was. They could never stay on good terms for more than a few hours, and usually those hours were spent between the sheets. It didn't help that ultimately she knew the words he spoke were true. She was a mother of the worst kind, not even able to be called Mom.

"Because you won't let me know about your relationship," she whispered, letting warm tears trail down her cheeks.

The bed dipped as he got up, and she could hear him put his clothes back on. His anger was obvious in the sound of the fabric slapping as he covered his body.

"I gotta be gettin' back to the clubhouse. Do you need any money?"

Add that to the list of things she positively hated. He got what he wanted, and then he had the nerve to ask if she needed money. Like she was his whore, like she didn't still wear his ring on her finger. Like in the eyes of the law and God they weren't still married. She may have given up on their children, but she hadn't given up on him. "Keep your damn money. I don't need it."

Paper money fluttered as it hit her shoulder and she flinched. Refusing to turn over, she heard the door slam on his way out.

"Lauren, when are you going to stop doing this to yourself?" she whispered as she rolled over and grabbed the money that sat on the bed.

She counted $400 – enough to pay almost all of her rent. It never failed to strike her as shitty that both Liam and William owned their own homes, even Roni had been left out of that. They each had motorcycles and cars, it didn't look they wanted for anything. While she struggled. Both financially and emotionally. The little apartment she rented was hot in the summer and cold in the winter. The pipes froze at least once a year, and the shower never seemed to have hot water. Her thirteen-year-old car was on its last legs, and her bank account could use a few thousand dollars so that she could get a little spontaneous with her spending. She sighed deeply, brushing the moisture from her face. This was not how she had ever though her life would turn out, even in her wildest dreams.

"Mrs. Walker, it looks like you've got yourself a healthy baby boy."

Her heart sank in what should have been one of the happiest moments of her life. In a flash, she saw this little boy's future, and she was scared. For herself, her husband, her older daughter, and this innocent little boy who had no idea that his future had just been sealed.

William and his friends had started a motorcycle club that was quickly turning into something very illegal. When she had become pregnant, she had prayed every night that it would once again be a little girl. This boy would be heir apparent to those illegal activities and that motorcycle club. There was nothing about this that she liked.

"Thanks for giving me a son, Lauren. The next generation is well on its way."

His eyes shone brightly with pride as he held the tiny bundle of joy in his arms. Any love that he felt for the child she had just birthed was replaced with greed for more power and the guarantee of the line of succession for Heaven Hill. She realized at that moment that she would have to leave. Her throat tightened as she fought to hold back the fear that she already felt. She would take whatever time she had with this son of hers, and it would have to last her the rest of her life. She knew that as surely as she knew the sun would rise in the east and set in the west.

Shaking her head, Lauren got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. Reaching into the shower, she turned it on and waited for it to warm – as much as it ever did. While she waited, her mind worked overtime.

"He will not be a member of this gang." Lauren screamed, pressing her finger into his chest. Fear tightened her throat and tears streamed down her face.

William had the audacity to smile. "We're motorcycle enthusiasts."

"You are criminals – getting worse by the day," she accused. "I don't want to be a part of this anymore." It had gradually been getting more and more illegal, the stakes getting higher and the risk becoming more deadly. She wanted to take her kids and run as far and as fast as she could, but she knew it would never be far enough that he couldn't find her.

He grabbed her around the wrist and hauled her so close their noses touched. His grip tightened until she groaned aloud and more tears spilled from her eyes. "You leave this club, and you leave alone. The kids stay with me, and that's final. You're not taking them."

She sobbed. "You can't keep me from my kids." The worst feeling was that she knew he could and would take them from her. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do to prove his authority over her. The secret she kept so closely hidden wouldn't even help her.

"And you can't keep me from mine. You need to make a decision here, wife of mine."

Lauren had never been so conflicted in her life. She couldn't stand by and watch this man ruin her son, the one that was so kind hearted and climbed into her lap every night asking for a bed time story. He was the most precocious five-year-old she had ever seen.

At the same time, she felt like she couldn't leave, and if she tried she would be dead.

Lauren remembered those days so clearly. At five years old she had known that he would be such a good man. The glimpses she'd seen of him throughout the years had shown her that despite all the heartache, he had grown into an amazing man. No thanks to her.

"Mommy, look at what I did today."

Lauren looked up from where she stood cooking hamburgers for their dinner to see William and the kids returning from the store. "What did you do?" she grinned at the little boy who had stolen her heart.

"Got a candy bar."

"How did you do that? I didn't send any money with you." Immediately her stomach dropped. She knew what this was, and it was the beginning that would never have an end.

His eyes sparkled, much like his father. "I stole it, and nobody caught me. Dad said I earned my keep."

"You did what?" she asked, her voice calm. She was trying to keep it together – to not scream at a little boy who just wanted to make his dad proud.

"I stoled it."

He was so proud and William had such a hold over him, she knew in that moment she had to leave. She couldn't stand by and watch this little boy turn into the man that his father had become. Her heart couldn't take it.

The water finally warm, she adjusted it to a temperature that she could stand. Stepping in, she let it flow over her, allowing it to wash the sadness away from her body. The pain of missing her family had recently manifested itself as a physical ache, and she hoped to one day wash that pain away. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and focused on the small tasks at hand. That was the way she had lived the last twenty-seven years, putting one foot in front of the other and focusing on small tasks. At least then she felt like she had accomplished something with her life instead of failing as a mother.

She hoped and prayed that one day she would be able to make Liam understand the reasons for what she had done. That all the pain and suffering they both had gone through had been the only solution she had seen at the time to an unforgiving problem. To a man she had been deathly afraid of. She had been witness to things that she hoped one day to forget. If she was ever lucky enough to get that second chance, she would make sure it counted and that William Walker would never have a hold over her again.