You and I or you and him?[Larry Stylingson](English version)

Chapter 10

The night was long, I lay awake all night and think. I took myself looking at her. What was that I had let myself into now? I had lost control and did not know which way I had taken. I loved Harry, but all this about come out of the closet - something I was terrified to do - was not so easy. The fact is that I fail to show that I love him when we are with others and not just the two of us. I got up and went to the kitchen. The time at stove flashed, which indicated that the power had gone - and come back. I sighed and walked over to the fridge. The light was bright and I squinted. I looked in the refrigerator and moved things around. "There." I took out a box of beer, walked into the living room and sat on the couch and opened it. It was not long before the box was empty, I went to the refrigerator and took a new one. Sat down on the couch and emptied that box too.At the fourth box, I began to feel the impact, but that didn't stop me. I went to the fridge and took the last two boxes.

I could hear that someone was walking down the stairs and I turned around. "Louise what are you doing up now?" Lisa went down the last step and came towards me. She's got big eyes when she saw all the boxes that were open and empty. She shifted her gaze to me. "Have you been drinking all?"I could not help but smile. "Are you drunk, Louis?" I grinned and nodded. "Just a little then." I threw in the last sip in the box I had in my hand and put down the box on the table. I grabbed the arm of Lisa and pulled her down on the sofa. She looked at me. "I can't choose." I said, or more or less I snorted. Lisa looked at me and did not fully understand. "Can't choose what?"I looked down and looked up at her again. "Between you and Harry."

Lisa asked no more questions. She just took hold my arm and helped me up and into bed. "Lie here, I'm just going down to clean." I nodded and watched her walked out of the room. I lay staring at the ceiling.

*

I went down stairs again into the kitchen and found a bag. It smelled of beer throughout the living room. I gathered all the beer cans in the bag and put it outside the front door and went up. "I love Harry but it's so hard when no one knows I'm gay, or bisexual or whatever I should say that I am." I looked at Louis. "What do you mean, Louis?" He sat up in bed and looked at me. "I love Harry, but I will not come out of the closet, also there it's you then. I do not know if I should choose Harry or you. I do not have to hide myself if I choose you." I sat on the bed and helped Louis to lie down again. "Sleep now, you've been drinking and you no longer know what you do." Louis did not fought and did as I said. I stayed awake until he was asleep so he would not go down and drink more, - not that there was no more beer left in the fridge.

Louis fell asleep and I curled up in my own bed. I could not sleep, I was left looking at the ceiling and think about what Louis had told. "I was right, he's gay, and with Harry, but he is afraid to come out of the closet and tell it to anyone." I sat up one last time and looked against him. He looked peaceful. I lay down to sleep. "There will be a day tomorrow."

*

The head spinner, when I sat up in bed, I was knocked down to vertigo too. I looked at Zoye, she slept. The floor was cold, so I run across the floor, down the staircase and into the kitchen. The medicine cabinet was next to the fridge, I opened it and took out the painkillers. I looked toward the refrigerator. It gave me a weak feeling of something, but I could not put my finger on what it was. The tablets did I swallowed, with a glass of water. Something happened yesterday, but I could not get myself to remember what it was. I shrugged for myself and let it go. Was it something important, would I remember what time it was. The time at the stove flashed. The power must have gone during the night, I ask myself, as I set the time , so it showed it correct. I got up again and walked over to the fridge. The power can't have been gone so long. There were still four degrees in there. There were two packages of bacon there, and I took out. Put on the stove and started to make bacon.

There was someone on the stairs, but I was too busy making bacon, so I did not turn around. "So, are you up on two legs already?" I turned and met the gaze of Zoye. "What do you mean?" She laughed, which made me unsure of what had happened yesterday. "Did something happened yesterday Zoye?" The fridge was opened. "Louis, where is The beer?" I could hear the smile she had on her face. "It's in the back of fridge. Behind the milk. What you want with beer?" I heard her rummaging in the fridge. "No, there's nothing here." I turned again and faced just the grin of hers. I felt fear alley way up the back. "Zoye!" My voice sounded angry, but scared too. "Relax, Louis. You drank it all , I got you nicely in bed again." I breathed out. "It was not so ..." I turned abruptly and felt how fat squirted me in the arm. "I drank all the beer?" Zoye nodded. "All the boxes and you was probably a little breezes, maybe a little drunk." It was suddenly not so strange that I had bont head. I poured the rest of the bacon in a bowl and put it on the table and we both sat down and began to eat.

"Tell me what happened yesterday." I set my eyes on her. She exhaled and told how she woke up of the sound that there was someone who made noise downstairs. Some, it was me. She had found me sitting on the sofa with five empty beer cans in front of me on the coffee table. She preamble how I had started to talk about her and Harry. "Harry .." I swallowed. "What did I said about Harry?" "Lou., Can I call you Lou?" I nodded. "I understood allready when we were at the movies - the first time I met Harry. - That there was something between you two. You are not so clever, to hide the facts that you like him." I hit myself in the forehead. "Not quite-" "I will not tell anyone that I know. It's all right." She smiled at me and took another bite.

"Sorry about last night, I'm not the drinker. Actually it was my first time." I turned to Zoye, and took her in the saucer and put it in the dishwasher, closed it and startet it. "It's all right. You can not have been so drunk. You were not hard to deal with." She smiled a little unevenly and went out into the living room. I was standing in the kitchen, unsure if I should follow. I was suddenly unsure of everything else too. What was I going to do. Who should I choose and how I ended up in the midst of all this mess? And not least. How would this end?