"Shit!" I panic, pushing my legs to run faster than I ever think I have. I'm panting and sweating, before finally reaching the window to my room and jumping in. With a quick movement in my room, I bend over, holding my knees, trying to catch my breath.
"You stupid little fucking bitch!" My mom screams, slamming things, doors, anything that gets in the way. I panic once more, flinching at just how harsh the noise is. Before I have any time to recollect anything that is happening, my bedroom door is opened in such a quick movement, hitting the wall with a loud slam.
"You didn't think I would notice you stupid little bitch left?!" She screams inching her way closer to me. Her words slurred, obviously drunk. I walk backwards until I hit my wall and slide down, Afraid of what's next.
"Man up you cunt. You fucking have no respect." She screams leaning closer to me, spit landing on my face. I'm crying now, tears slipping down my face. I'm terrified, but I'm also used to this. Her hand moves up and smacks me in the face, leaving such a burn all I can do I close my eyes and cry.
"Mom." I barley whimper out. She hits me again, and again.
"Shut the fuck up." She screams. Pushing me more into the wall by my shoulders.
"Stop! stop it!" I scream back.
"Shut the fuck up!"
She doesn't hit me again, instead she gets up to leave, knocking over everything from my dresser onto my floor. I sit there for minutes on end, feeling so sore, I can't move a muscle. The tears are just running out of my eyes. I push myself to stand up, weak, tired and bleeding. I look in my mirror, petrified to see how I look. I haven't seen myself whole without a bruise or a cut or anything for the longest I can remember. I cry harder, my makeup is running and smeared all over my face. Cuts that have not had any time to heal, once again cut open, bleeding down my face. My light brown hair dirty and sprawled all over my head, from the hair that came out from my bun. I take my hair down, and cry more. Running my hand slowly across my face and In my hair. I pull at my roots, screaming out in silence, crying, and anger that I can't take out. I take deep breaths to steady my my breathing. My head throbbing. When I'm stable enough, I go to my closet, where my box is at and pull it down from the shelf. I take out my towel, and unwrap it, picking up my blade and laying the towel down underneath me. I swipe, once, twice, again and again on my vulnerable wrists. I cut up and down side to side. Deep and deeper. I'm bleeding so much I feel light headed. I take the towel and wrap it around my wrist squeezing a bit. I sit in my floor, back up against my bed, and cry until I can no longer see straight. From lack of blood, and the pain I am experiencing, the thought of possible death occurs over and over. I wish it was true. I wish It was true. I'm sobbing, my breaths are hitched and uneven. I'm shaking and I'm angry. I stand up grab a book bag, and start throwing my main necessities in it. I don't worry about money, I already covered that before all of this happened. I go towards my window and throw my book bag out of it and I follow after. I run. I hold my book bag and I run. I don't look back. I never want to have to look back. I'm vulnerable. Weak. Tired. In pain, but I run and I use all my strength to run. I run and run and run. Thinking off options of whatever I can do. First things first. I walk in a hair salon shop, and the bells at the top of the door chime. The last at the front desk speaks before looking up.
"Hello" she smiles until she finally notices at me. She gasps and covers her mouth. I walk behind the rows of different products for beauty care. I go to the hair selection and I look at the different pastel colors. Nothing ordinary. I choose pastel pink. I grab it and walk to the desk. The last rings it up, staring at me when telling me the total. I pull out my money and pay for it before snatching the bag and walking out. I start to calm down, and continue walking. I walk to a familiar house of someone I know who is on vacation. I find the spare key and let myself in, walking to the bathroom. I open my hair dye, and start working on changing my appearance. I purposely leave some of my roots coming out, to make it look like I didn't just dye it. I finish up, and pull the long, newly pink hair in a pony tail. I clean up, and walk back out, already knowing where I'm headed. I pull my gray sweater up, and the hood over my head. When in sight, I call over a taxi. When he pulls up at the curb of me, I climb in and mention the name of a hotel I'm familiar with.
"Hey kid, by the looks of it, I can tell you're not doing something good right now." He looks at me through the rear view morrow. "Just make sure you know that this is really what you want."
"You don't know anything." I spit at him.
"Don't get defensive. I'm just trying to help."
"Well i am going through a lot and I know for sure that it need to do this."
He drives me to where I need to go and when I get out of the car, and search for my money, he gestures me a card.
"Don't worry about it." He says and just hands me the card, before protesting, he pulls away and I'm left stranded in a parking lot at a hotel. I sigh, grab my bags, throwing them on my back and start to slowly walk towards the entrance. I walk in and right away am greeted by a hostess.
"Hello. How may I help you?" She smiles real big, even while looking at me. I can see the terror and disgust in her eyes.
"Can I check out for 3 days and 4 nights."
"Can I see your i.d please?" She raises her eyebrow at me.
I pull my I.d out and she checks it.
"Sorry ma'am but you have to be over 18 to rent a room here."
I feel the tears start to swell up in the back of my throat and peek themselves out of my eyes.
"Please. Can't you just make an exception I just need a few days." I sigh and look at her.
"No I'm sorry I can't. We have a policy."
"Look I'll give you extra money" I scramble with my hands to reach out and pull out a extra 50.
"No I can't accept that."
"Please." I'm crying now. I'm angry. I'm tired.
She shakes her head. I sigh and go out in the front of the hotel to catch a breath of fresh air. I pace and pace and I call him and beg him for a place to stay but he doesn't want to deal with a little bitch who won't suck his dick. I cry and I sit and I stare. I finally walk back in, getting stopped in my tracks when the lady speaks to me.
"Your room is on the 12th floor, here's your room key." She reaches her hand out holding the key. She holds a blank expression on her face. I'm confused, and I slowly walk towards her. I furrow my eyebrows.
"Didn't- I didn't pay- I'm not old enough?" I stammer on my words.
"Don't worry about it."
"Ok.. Thank you..." I grab the key out of her hand and walk to the elevators. I click the number 12 and wait for the doors to let me off there. When The doors open, I walk to the room number that I was given and let myself in.
