[jjp] Dirty Homewrecker

h o m e w r e c k e r

The half empty coffee mug dances under my fingers with the twists of my hands as I waited for my mother. The cafe was filled with the smell of coffee beans and sweets, laying over the place like a thick blanket. I uncrossed my ankles and hooked them around the chair legs to stop them from signalling my unrest.

I looked around at the people before me, two caught my eye. They were obviously dating. The girl had her long blonde hair tied loosely up into a bun. She was wearing a white button down dress shirt and a pencil black skirt with black tights. Her name tag on her shirt over her heart. She was looking at the man across from her, her gaze unwavering. The man with his stubble and suit had not even glanced at his food, holding his girlfriends gaze with a soft smile.

A bell chimed through the cafe as the front door opened and my mother walked in. I set my mug down on the table to wave, making her smile and walk over to me. I pushed back my chair so I could stand up and pull her into my embrace. I gave her a once over to check for any changes. I took in the same salt and pepper hair. The dress pants with her cardigan and the boots I bought her for Mother's Day last year. She took a step back to pull the seat out and sat down. Her bag thumped heavily against the floor in front of her feet.

I didn't sit back down. I reached down into my own bag to grab my wallet before straightening back up.

"What would you like?" I ask her, only to be waved off with a flick of her wrist and a pointed look

"Don't even think about" she said sternly, though the smile lines on the corners of her eyes gives her away. I rolled my eyes and walked up to the counter. After ordering two milk teas, I returned back to my seat. My mother smiled at me.

"How are you feeling now...are you over him?"

Her question surprised me. The topic had been a taboo between us. Until this moment it seemed. Memories simmered behind my eyes. The nervous twitch of playing with my fingers began again, my mother was doing the same as she was playing with her wedding ring.

Her eyes held only concern and sympathy. I despised that look. I cast my sight away which unfortunately fell upon the couple.

His name darkened in my mind.

.    .    .    .    .    .    .

The tears slid down Jinyoungs cheeks in waves, his chest heaved with hiccuped sobs. A trail of snot ran out of his nose, wet lines running down to his chin.

Even in the midst of all of this mess him eyes held a strong anger directed towards Jaebum.

I still remember the clench of guilt in my stomach.

His face remained calm as he watched the Jinyoung fall apart. The words he had spoken, as he laid comfortably and carefree under the covers. The aloof attitude he had made the younger more upset, like he didn't even care that both of his relationships were falling apart right in front of him.

The photo had been sent to Jinyoung's phone along with a text message from his current boyfriend's friend.

The two of them had been friends for a long time. Both of their mothers had been good friends, passing on their friendship. They shared everything together, even shared their first kiss. It wasn't until University when their relationship took a change.

Not so young anymore, they explored another type of relationship together. While Jinyoung had wanted the title of 'boyfriend', Jaebum instead decided that he suited 'the mistress' better. Jinyoung was the one he would call late at night, the one he would ask for help. Even if he already had someone who he could do those things to.

The picture was of Jinyoung leaving Jaebum's house after staying the night. The message that accompanied photo was full of hatred, only saying bad words and threats. When he had shown him, he expected to be reassured that he would never leave him and instead leave Youngjae.

That is how it's always been.

Though this time Jaebum told him that that isn't going to happen this time around. That this thing that they have together wasn't permanent and that they were just friends. How could Jinyoung expect anything other than that?

Him and his boyfriend hadn't been dating long, four months at most, so they hadn't moved in together yet. Making their little...arrangement easier. Jinyoung had met Youngjae multiple times during these months, being Jaebum's closet friend. He knew Youngjae was very sweet, he didn't deserve these to happen to him.

In the text message Youngjae's friend explains through the multiple curse words how he had found out about the two of them. Jaebum's boyfriend, Youngjae had found out about the two of them as he was pulled up across the street, finishing his text message to his mother when he saw Jinyoung walk out of Jaebum's house. He knew of their long friendship together, but they were too old now to be having sleep overs.

Youngjae took the photo. Just incase he was right about it, not wanting to falsely accuse. Waiting until Jinyoung had driven away, Youngjae walked into Jaebum's house.

It wasn't until Youngjae went through Jaebum's phone when he had fallen asleep first during one of their many movie nights did he see the messages and call logs between his boyfriend and his so called friend. He hadn't been smart enough to delete them. Youngjae explains that his friends had been suspicious of the nature of their friendship too, going on about how they are going to tell everyone about how Jinyoung is a "dirty homewrecker".

Jinyoung had received the onslaught of messages while still laying alone in Jaebum's bed, he had gone for a shower to wash away the evidence. When he walked back into the room he had found Jinyoung sobbing, though he had known they were doing something wrong, he never wanted to hurt anyone. But every time Jinyoung tried to stop, the sound of Jaebum's voice or the faux emotion in his texts pulled him back. This is what he tells him, that he wants to stop.

He really did love him, or what felt like love.

But Jaebum didn't see what the problem was, why did he have to cry like that?

They trade places as Jinyoung begins to pace around, Jaebum lays under the covers watching him. He remembers how they fought. It was ugly. The snot and the tears, Jaebum's anger and defensiveness. He thought he had done nothing wrong, that he could push the blame onto Jinyoung and still expect that he to run back to him, like he always has.

What he didn't expect was Jinyoung rushing to put his clothes back and grabbing his things. Following through with his wish.

.    .    .    .    .    .

I blink as my eyes begin to dry up. My mother sips some of her tea.

A message pings, I give my mother a one sided smile with a quirk of my shoulder before turning my phone on. An unknown ID shows up with the start of the text stating that the person wanting to fix things. My heart trembles and I delete the message without reading it.

"I'm doing better"

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should i do a longer version of this?? like how this all started and the aftermath??

- Nenzi