The Roadie and Me

Endless nights.

I meet up with Valerie back at the hotel room. She's dressed in a tight black dress with matching heels and her hair is up in a nicely done bun. Was she expecting to go out this early? It is our last night together, but it would have been nice If she told me.

"So where are you taking me?" She asks wrapping her skinny arms around me.

I didn't know I was taking her anywhere. "It's a little early don't you think?"

"I just need to talk to you. Please?" She asks with a frown on her face.

Okay. I can talk.

We sit on the corner of my bed and she pulls her heels off.

"Look, since you're not letting me tour with you. I just wanted to let you know, that, well. That I'm really going to miss you," She pauses as if waiting for my response, but when I don't say anything she continues with, "There's going to be a lot of pretty girls out there, I know. But that's what touring is right? and sure I might get jealous, but I know you love me too... right?"

Pause.

"Right?" She repeats.

I pull her in for a kiss, hoping this is answer enough for her. She places both hands around my neck, holding me in place. When I pull back she smiles then begins to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask.

"I'm just happy," She says and pulls me in for another kiss. I feel her smiling against my lips and I am suddenly reminded of Isabelle. They way her smile is so contagious. The way we both laughed at absolutely nothing the other night. And then in my head it's not Valerie I'm kissing, but her. Isabelle.

Fuck.

I pull back quickly and shake my head a little too much, causing my head to start spinning.

"What's wrong?" Valerie asks confused by my sudden retreat.

"I- I. Nothing. Sorry. I need air," I say and walk out of the room. I head toward the nearest elevator with Valerie a few steps behind, calling after me.

"Logan! Logan wait!" She says and steps into the elevator with me. "What's going on?"

I ignore her question and close my eyes.

This is Valerie. Valerie. Valerie. Valerie. And fuck. What am I thinking?

I'm not thinking. I'm not.

"Logan. What the hell is wrong with you?" Valerie asks grabbing my arm securely.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just had a little bit to much to drink recently."

"I told you to take better care of yourself baby." She's hugging me now. She's seen me really freak out because of too much to drink. Or drugs. I shouldn't scare her like that.

"I know how stressful touring can be. Buy promise me this. You'll take care of yourself. Don't get into that crazy shit. You saw what it did to Shane."

"Okay. I promise."

The elevator stops at the hotel lobby. I didn't even realize I pressed the button.

"I still have to pack. we have that goodbye party in a few hours, so I can use your help," I say fiddling with her long blond strands of hair.

I hit the button that has our floor number on it and lean back against the wall, whistling a tune from one of our songs.

"Logan? About last night. Why did you go to her room?" Valerie asks, worry in her voice. I look at her confused, trying to act clueless. "Isabelle's."