Dear little one

11

Dear little one,
I asked if I could write about you my little one. We're headed home now with all of our findings, we've taken your body as well. I feel disgusting removing you from our home like this. You don't belong in this world anymore as much as I wish you did. I asked to write about you and now I am telling you I'm going to. I don't know who will truly believe me but I need to reassure myself you were real. I've almost forgotten what your smile looked like and it is a terrifying thought that one day you will be lost to my memory. So I shall write your story and hope you will haunt me for it.

I think I will put the name you used to call me on it instead of the one I use now. A pen name of sorts. I want the world to know you only so you will live forever with me again. To have the world know your name will be my last gift to you. Perhaps then I will no longer write to you I will get every last ounce of you out of my system for once. I can pour my memories and my heartache into something new. Something just for you my little one.

I will try to make you happy with this book but I know you would hate it anyway. I can just see that smile you would give me when I would make you something you hated but you still loved it because it was from me and only for you. I loved that smile. I painted it a thousand times and it haunts my dreams, but god I love it. I would give anything to see it one last time.

Death