A Slow Form of Suicide • Park Jimin + Min Yoongi

~ 4 ~

Everything went a bit fuzzy for Yoongi in that moment, this was probably because of the immense fear he felt for Jimin's metal and physical well being. Jimin grasped onto him like a baby monkey would grasp onto there mothers chests for safety in the wild, but this safety was different for Jimin, it was emotional safety and he found that within his friend, Yoongi.

The day was Wednesday, 4th January 2017, almost 3 months after the wings album was released, and also just over a month before the wings tour would be starting, this could break him. The cold tiled floor started to get to Yoongi so he helped Jimin up and sat in his bed with him, face to face, he played with his hair while he looked into his red puffy eyes.

"do you want to tell me what happened?" Yoongi didn't want to distress Jimin again but he needed to know what happened to him. Jimin went from looking Yoogni in the eyes to almost turning over to look the opposite way. There was no responses though, the room was silence.

Huffing, Yoongi felt helpless, he felt this motherly instinct to help him but he didn't know how to if he didn't know what was exactly going on in his head. "you haven't been eating much, you've been practising until the routine is perfect and then you work out on top of that, we have all noticed and we are all worried about you" holding his shoulder Yoongi slowly rolls Jimin back over and notices that he had been tears streaming down his face yet again.

Over the next couple hours they had both sat in every chair in the room and everything come out of Jimin. "I'm not anorexic though, I don't want to be called that" Yoongi was confused, who had called him anorexic? Why was he saying that? So he questioned it.

"people on twitter call it me, when I post pictures, they call me skinny, I'm not skinny though so I don't know why they are saying that" did he really just say that? Yoongi haven't seen Jimin without oversized clothes on for months but he had seen Jimins face, that says said it all. He always looks tired and he had lost the chub in his cheeks that he debuted with and kept up until then.

"When was the last time you ate?" Pale, Jimin looked like a ghost, he froze in place. This wasn't a nice question for Yoongi to ask him but it was cemented head, just how long does he goes without eating anything? So he questioned it to get an answer to the question that he had to know. He didn't want to show any distress to Jimin, he was worried it would make everything worst and harder for him, he needed someone to talk to.

"New years eve" Jimin went from pale to red and he looked away, that was a while, 4 days ago, how much longer would he had gone if Youngi hadn't of intervened? They all had tour soon and if Jimin doesn't try to get better there is no way that he would be able to make it though without a health issue getting in the way of performing, Jimin was an asset to the group, they need him.

"would you eat something right now, even if its a little bit of something, just anything" Jimin's hands wrapped around his stomach, as he did this it pulled in his big baggy black t-shirt towards his body revealing for a second just exactly how skinny he was under the shear amount of material he wears on a daily basis now. Looking towards you Jimin was clearly distressed by the idea of eating but you could tell he knew he had to.

Eating would keep him alive, just like any other human but Jimin has built a fear against the thing that would be keeping him in good health, it was beyond his control and non of it is his fault, Jimin just wanted to innocently loose some weight but he spiralled into different diets and different exercise routines until he didn't think he could stop.

"even a little sandwich, you haven't have to eat any of it I just want to make it and for you to try" Jimin looks at Yoongi and nods. Standing up they were still and stared at each other for a moment before Jimin embraced Youngi for a comforting hug, Yoongi pulled him in and held him, Yoongi never normal comforts people this way but jimin needed this. Every bone in Jimins body pushed against his in that moment and it was scary just to think what he had done to himself. If he carries on it would kill him, Yoongi would have to keep a close eye on him for a while, it was a slow form of suicide.