Building Memories (Cryaotic) ON HOLD #Wattys2015

Prologue

WARNING: This book has a suicidal center and many suicidal thoughts. If you are one to get upset about these thoughts, I'd advise for you to stray from this book including other books alike. My other stories do not have that included.

It also portrays Cryaotic differently than most fan-fictions have done. So if you are one to jump to conclusions and say "That's not like him!" I understand, but you do not know what he looks like and acts but, neither do I. I wanted to enter a different style. Don't worry though. He will get different, but might be a little tough for you in the beginning. For that, I apologize.

Viewer discretion is advised.

The freezing rain poured down on my face, damping my brown hair. I looked down at the ground, staring at the concrete below me.

Tears flowed out of my eyes, but I kept shut. This is how I should have been; quiet.

"GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE, NOW! Now I know why your parents kicked you out! We're OVER."

The memories washed over me, making my blood boil. It wasn't my fault, it was never my fault. I was kicked out of my parents house, and my now ex-boyfriends'.

I pulled my hoodie over my head, taking a deep breath.

I need to think about the present, but what present do I have? What future lays out for me?

An ally would be nice, at least there would be corners where I could bundle up and cry, that would be better than thinking of the past, I guess.

This is what it felt like to be homeless, I thought, looking around my surroundings.

The constant staring of people, the cold feeling in the middle of your chest, and hunger. It felt like I wasn't there... Like I was in a different place, back in my apartment.

I felt like those cold stares fazed through me, and were targeted on something else. For once, in my dazed out faze, it felt good to be a nobody, to be invisible, to be unseen.

It feels good to be on your own, in some points. I dragged my blue converse across the ground, scratching the soles.

The shoes were now a navy blue, due to the constant dribbling of rain.

After a long walk through the streets, I found an ally, and escaped the sounds of cars and people.

I came across a man, maybe in his late 30s.

"Why, hello?" The man had a scratchy voice, but a calm face."Are you a new one? Homeless?" He asked.

I stared at him, lost in my own world. "Quiet one, aren't you? Well, would you like to join me?" The man asked, smiling.

"Hell no. Why should I trust you? You could be a pedophile for all I know!"

"Just... Follow along. It isn't an easy road we're going down. You've got to trust me. We sit down holding signs, do our puppy eyes, and wait. You look like you're on the verge of crying again, so I bet you could get some change." I rolled my eyes at sat down next to him.

He wore a Christmas beanie, and a small green blanket draped over him. "Here." He said, pushing some of the blanket over to me.

I gladly set it over my legs and took another deep breath. "So. You seem like you've been through some pretty deep mud... what's brought you here?"

I shook my head, and looked out towards the street full of cars. "I don't want to talk about it." I murmured.

He nodded and frowned. "It's okay. Like my father always said; Let go of the past, and keep hold of the present, or it will drift away from you. It means we have to keep trying to make a mark in our future."

I couldn't listen much to his constant bickering, I was lost in my own zone. Thinking about elsewhere, wishing I wasn't pressed against the damp ground.

"What's your name?" He asked solemnly. I snapped out of my trance and looked at the man. His eyes where a light brown fade, and he had scratchy stubble grazed across his chin.

"Natoma," I said. "It's Natoma." He smiled and nodded. "Welcome to the team Natoma," He paused, looking back up at me. "Now let's get some food, shall we?" I nodded and smiled. It felt good to smile again, and feel my cheeks blush bright red.

The man walked deeper into the dark ally, and brought out some not-so-square cardboard and a rusty old pen. He sat down next to me once more, and scribbled black ink on the board.

He nodded and looked up at me, holding the board above his waist. It wrote, 'Hungry and Homeless, please help.'

"Does that sound good?" He asked me, and I nodded back to him. "If I was one of them, I'd be holding on tears. For me, it's very sad to see the homeless. The thought never dawned me that I'd be sitting on the wet concrete beside you." I sighed.

The man patted my shoulder. "Here, now you try." He ushered the cardboard and pen over to me.

I stared down at the wet mush, and looked up at the mans face. "What's your name?" I asked.

"Dennis... No one's really ever asked me, so I forget to introduce myself. I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"No it's fine... I understand."

I scribbled in big print, 'Every cent counts, thank you. :)'. Dennis looked down at my sign and nodded.

"I'm don't feel very creative today... I feel like dark clouds have surrounded my thoughts. So... What next?"

"Come here." He motioned me over to a space of dry ground ahead of a liquor store.

I walked over to where he took my sign, and sat down. He brought out an old black fedora and dropped it next to me.

"Stay there, while I go over to that store over there," He motioned towards a small farmers market, "and you hold up your message waiting for people to drop some cash into your hat. I shall do the same." He said.

I nodded. "Okay..." I sighed. I didn't like doing this, it didn't feel right. I know I've lost my job at a crappy clothing store, but this is worse.

After a while of people staring motionless at me, a woman with red hair stopped in front of me and frowned. She reached her hand in her bag and brought out a twenty dollar bill. She smiled at me and dropped the cash in my torn hat.

I smiled bigger than I have in a long time, and I nodded thankfully.

A man with brown hair and brown eyes ran towards the woman trying to catch up with her. The woman walked away, and the voices grew dim.

"Amanda!" He yelled, catching his breath, "Slow down, my god, I almost lost you."

Amanda...

I looked across the street to where Dennis was sitting. I waved my hands in the air to get his attention and he came running over to my side.