Not Here

Chapter 4

I find comfort in the darkness. I don't know why, and i know that usually darkness is partnered with evil, but i think darkness despises evil. Darkness is calm. You need the dark to sleep, even if you're a person who can sleep during the day, your eyelids provide you with the dark, and so you go into a state of unconsciousness. Did you know that scientists still don't know why we dream? In fact, we dream an average of 45 times every time we sleep. When we wake up, we forget. Evil on the other hand, evil lets you do things you never thought you could.

I want to dream and i want to forget. But i don't want to wake up.

I ride down neighborhoods and past the school, past the local hospital and laundromat, past the Dance it Off bar. The town lake, the nursing home. Past my neighborhood and Claire's, past the school.

I don't stop. I don't pick up my phone when it rings, i don't even check who it is. I know it's my mother, but after the first hour there are different ringtones, and so finally i shut my phone off. After the second hour, when night has fully fell and the moon is standing tall, i drive to the park and sit on the swings.

I remember when i was in middle school, Klara, Eliza, George and I would always come here before continuing our walk home. We always sat on the swings and saw who could kick the highest. Then one day George said he could kick higher than us when in the baby swing. We had to call the police to remove him from the swing.

Then there was the time when Daniel, George, Tyler, and I would ride our bikes here in the middle of the night. Our parents knew what we were doing, so one of them was always in the car a block down, watching us, and making sure no one else was in the park.

This was the place that Claire and I met. The first time she shared her ice cream with me because i fell and dropped mine on the floor. I was getting an ice cream for Mark.

This was where Klara came when Seth's parents called her to tell her he was dead. This was the swing she sat on, and this was where i came to comfort her.

I get on my bike and start riding again.

Three and a half hours after leaving the sight, i have a total of 143 calls and 362 texts. My mother, father and brothers stoped calling a hole hour ago. All Jake texted was "Hope you're home safe! Feeling well? You seemed upset when you left." Claire doesn't count, she's always calling me. George, Daniel, Tyler, and Eliza are texting me from the group chat. Klara is the only one still calling, and she's the one with the most calls and most messages.

I answer her call.

Silence. "Hello?" she says.

"Hello."

"Andrew! Why haven't you been answering your calls? Where are you? What happened?" her voice is breaking and i can tell she's been crying for sometime now.

"I'm coming over to your house if that's alright."

"Yeah, yeah that's fine. i'll call your—"

"No," I told her. "Don't tell anyone where I am or that i'm with you."

I hung up the phone and started riding.

There were no cars in her drive way, and she was waiting on the front steps. When i got off my bike she jumped on me, screaming and crying of why i would do something like that. I told her it wasn't a big deal, and that i just wanted some break for a few moments.

"Well," she looked back into the living room. "Come in, have something to eat."

We walked in and i sat on the couch. She fixed up a plate for the both of us and sat next to me.

"I didn't tell your mom where you were, I just told her that you're safe."

"Thanks," Klara always knew what to do when something like this happened. She called my mother so she would call the police. She's only my mother.

We ate in silence. The only noice was the fork hitting the plates. Klara put her plate on the coffee table and turned towards me. She didn't say anything. She waiting for me to finish eating, and when my plate was empty she took mine and her's and went to the sink to wash them. She came back a few minutes later with water and sat back down.

There were a million things i wanted to tell her, but i didnt know how. So I told her there was something i wanted to tell her.

"Go on," she said, calmly, like a mother soothing a newborn.

I didn't say anything.

"I've noticed that you've been upset these last few days. Eliza and Tyler did, too, but they said that they didn't want to ask you."

"Why didn't they want to ask me?"

She shrugged and looked away, "Maybe they thought you were stressed, that you didn't need anything more on your head."

"Am I the only one that thinks everyone in that school hates me? No, wait, I phrased that wrong, don't you notice the way everyone in that school—"

"Stop it!" she shouted at me. "Just stop! Only last week you were the boy who didn't care about what people thought about him or what they said, or how they looked. Everyone, and let me tell you, everyone, hates that you're dating Claire. No one likes the relationship, in fact neither do me and Eliza. Or George, or Daniel, or Tyler. What's happened?"

There was a long moment of silence. I wondered if i should tell her what's happening or not. Then I thought that our friendship was too valuable to me.

"Last week," i began, "Jake and I and a few others went to that forest just outside of town. I saw something that wasn't right. I told them that this isn't a place that we should dig, and they just ignored me."

"What did you see?"

I wanted to tell her that she was what i saw. She was in pain. But there was something else wrong too. I didn't look where i should have looked. Why was I wandering blindly? And why did I wander to a bar where Eliza lay faint? How did Klara get there?

Why were they both there? Never, in all my years of looking below did i see someone i knew.

"I saw you." I told her. "And Eliza."

She sat back and her cheeks flushed a dark pink. "W—Why?" I wanted to slap her, or shake her until she cried. How would i know? Didn't she know that the reason i'm acting like this is because i don't know?

"They aren't listening to me. I'm telling them not to dig and they persist and persist and they're already too far to stop. And then there was the vision of Eliza in front of a bar, and then the crowd of men, and then you in pain and walking and the cliff."

"Stop, you're ranting. What bar? What crowd of men? What cliff?"

"There was a bar with a dance floor and a couch and—"

"Alright there, slow down," she was smiling. She was amused. Did she not understand the seriousness of what I was telling her? "There are no cliffs in town, but there's a bar—"

And that's when the universe slapped me. The bar was what I noticed. The Dance it Off bar was in my vision. And Eliza was in front of it. Everything was right, there's also an alleyway right next to the bar.

I jumped up and ran out the door. I got my bike and pedaled as fast as I could towards the sight. It wasn't that late, so there were still cars on the street. I passed right in front of them to get to the other side of the road, and I didn't wait for the light to turn red. Suddenly I felt bad for leaving Klara there. I'd apologize later.

When I finally reached the forest I stoped. There was no forest. There were no trees. There were paper-like walls with the words "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY. DO NOT PASS," stamped every few inches or so. I walked around the wall and finally i found a little rip. I looked into the hole, and saw that a small city was standing where the forest used to be.