It scares me when I don't see your car in the parking lot in the morning. If I don't see those two magnets on it and it's not in it's spot. If it's not there. It scares me.
Maybe it's because I always assume the worst. Or because I've learned to expect the worst.
I start to wonder if you've run away or if somethings happened to you. I start to swirl my mind with where you could be. I start to panic, to hope that you're okay.
And I try not to text or call and ask you where you are, because I know that I can't do that anymore. That I'm not supposed to do that.
But a burning sensation in my chest wants me to call you. To see that you're alright when your car isn't there. To be reassured that your car will be there, and you with it.
And I know it's silly of me, to start to panic so early in the morning that your car isn't there. To wonder if you're alright.
When it's entirely probable that you just weren't here before me. Or that you're running late. That I was early.
But it still scares me because I'm so used to seeing your car there. In that same spot. Every morning.
Maybe I just need to be late every day. So you're always there before me. So that I see your car and know that you're okay.
Or maybe I need to forget about you, about your stupid car. Forget about your smile. Forget about the waves we sometimes share and the glances and smiles I see as you pull out of the parking lot in that very same car.
Maybe I need to forget you.
YOU ARE READING
Don't make me say bye - on hiatus
RomanceA short story letter thing for the guy I still love but can't tell. I thought I'd upload it in case someday he finds it though he doesn't use this site so he probably never will. And even if he did he doesn't love me back and reading this won't chan...
