Online *Jikook*

3

Warning: a little self harm

Message from Jmochi!

Jmochi: What do you mean? People don't hate you! And you know what? The people who do are just jealous. You know why? Because they don't have the guts to fight back and defend themselves. They don't have that strength you do. I bet if they were in your situation, they wouldn't know what to do at all. Because they don't know what it feels like. Don't pull yourself down. I know it's hard being different. Feeling different affections towards different people. But you need to live through it. Fight. Don't give up on yourself. Love who you want to love.

Delivered 3:05 am

"Hey Kookie. You okay? You seem down. What's wrong?" Hoseok asked, back hugging me.

"Nothing Hyung. I'm fine." I answer bluntly.

"Right. I bet you are." He said sarcastically.

"Listen I'm not in the mood to handle your-"

"One second. Yoongi's calling me." He interrupted. I roll my eyes and stuff my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah sure. Hey Kookie, Yoongi wants to talk to you." Hoseok said, handing me his phone. I take the phone and place it to my ear.

"What Yoongi." I ask.

"JUNGKOOK!" He screamed. I pull the phone away from my ear and roll my eyes.

"Can you not?" I ask, making Yoongi groan through the phone.

"You left your phone at home! And guess what? He messaged you! I told you! He replied!" He said, making me freeze.

"Jungkook? You there?" He asked. I bite my lip and shake my head.

"Bye Yoongi." I say.

"Wait Jungkook-" I hang up before he could finish his sentence.

"Hoseok I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I say, getting up from my seat and walking to the bathroom. I poke my head inside and thankfully no one was inside. I sigh and turn on the sink, splashing some water onto my face. I breath deep breaths in and out, trying to calm myself. My eyes turn to my wrapped wrist and I slowly reach towards it.

"Just this once." I mutter to myself, slowly beginning to squeeze the cut and opening the slash once again, staining the white bandage from the new, fresh blood. I close my eyes, slowly taking in the pain.

"What are you doing?" I jump and quickly turn around, hiding my wrist behind my back. It was the same boy that I saw yesterday.

"Nothing." I answer, biting my lip.

"You're bleeding." He said, shifting to the side to look behind my back. I turn the other way and shake my head.

"No, I'm not. I'm fine." I say. He furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head.

"Then why are you hiding your wrist?" He asked.

"It's none of your business." I snap, making him flinch at my sudden outburst.

"It became my business when I saw your bandaged arm bleeding, now show me." He demanded.

"Listen, I don't even know you so leave me the fuck alone." I spat, pushing past him and walking outside. I tap hoseoks shoulder and grab my jacket.

"Let's go." I say, pulling him up.

"Why? I still have to pay. Jungkook let go of me." Hoseok said, struggling and trying to get his hand free. But my grip was tight and I dragged him out of the cafe. Just as I walked out, I saw that same boy walk out of the washroom, staring wide eyed at me as I drag my friend away.

"Jungkook you little shit! Let me go!" He screamed, finally breaking his hand free. He turns me around and anger was written all over his face.

"Wanna hit me? Go ahead. Hit me. I wanna feel pain." I snap, making his expression soften.

"Let's go home." Is all he said before walking away. I walk slowly behind him, pulling my hood over my head and putting my headphones in. The sky grew darker with every second that passed. After what felt like 3 Years, we finally got home. And of course, right when I walked inside, I was greeted with Yoongi, holding up my phone.

"Jung-"

"No." Is all I say before smacking his hand away and walking to my room. My computer was also open and and I groan. The screen was on the app. I walk up to it and I look at the new message that was sent to me.

Jmochi: What do you mean? People don't hate you! And you know what? The people who do are just jealous. You know why? Because they don't have the guts to fight back and defend themselves. They don't have that strength you do. I bet if they were in your situation, they wouldn't know what to do at all. Because they don't know what it feels like. Don't pull yourself down. I know it's hard being different. Feeling different affections towards different people. But you need to live through it. Fight. Don't give up on yourself. Love who you want to love.

I swipe to the left to reveal the time that it was sent.

"3:05 am?" I ask myself. I shake my head and get up.

"No. I'm not talking to you anymore." I say, beginning to walk off. Suddenly, my computer makes a ding sound and I stop walking. I slowly turn around and cautiously walk to my desk.

Jmochi: Please answer me, Jungkook.

My eyes widen and I slowly seat myself.

Jmochi: I know you're reading this.

Jmochi: Please don't ignore me.

User3258: What the hell do you want.

Jmochi: Jungkook! Thank god! I though you were ignoring me.

User3258: I was. How the fuck do you know my name?

Jmochi: Yoongi told me.

I clench my jaw and bite my lip, trying to relieve my anger.

Jmochi: I'm sorry for the late message. It wouldn't send last night. I stayed up all night, trying to send it because I knew that it would worry you. Im really sorry.

User3258: I don't forgive you.

Jmochi: Why? What happened?

User3258: You made me cut myself again. You know i've been doing so well until I began messaging you.

Jmochi: Jungkook, i'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Please, let me help you.

User3258: I gave you a chance, you wasted it.

Jmochi: I'm sorry Jungkook. For making your life worse. I hope you find someone and live a good long life. Goodbye.

I stare at the message before closing my computer.

"Why do I feel guilty?" I ask myself, rubbing my eyes. I look at the clock and walk over to my bed before collapsing onto it. Everything is better now. I don't have to talk to him anymore and i'll be better without him either way. After a few hours of staring off into the abyss, sleep finally takes over me.