Blue

Chapter 9

Warning: Mentions of self-harm and accidental? attempted suicide 

Hunk set Lance down gently in his room. Lance didn't make a sound. Hunk was starting to get nervous, anxious beta scent wafting around the room. Lance should be hysterical right now, instead he just looked dead. Hunk pressed a kiss to Lance's sweaty temple and backed out of the room and came in moments later carrying new blankets for a new nest. Hunk set them down, expecting the omega to crawl towards them, but Lance merely looked at the blankets confused. Hunk, thinking the omega wanted to be alone, left the room, leaving Lance confused. 

Didn't Hunk know that Lance couldn't build a nest anymore? His first nest had been walked in on by Shiro. His second rejected by his alpha. The thought reminded him of Keith.

My omega. Back the fuck off. 

Lance nearly smiled, his heart warming. Only to freeze over again at the memory of Keith covering his ears. That's right, Lance wasn't Keith's omega. Keith didn't want him or his nest. Why else would he get rejected? Stupid omega. Keith's way out of Lance's league. He'd never fall in love with someone like Lance.

Lance, the completely useless paladin. Stuck in heat for a week, leaving Voltron completely vulnerable. They'd should just replace him and get it over with. Voltron deserved much better. A wave of heat racked him, his body trembling at the unbearable pain spreading through Lance's limbs like fire. Lance let out a needy cry only to cup his mouth. No. He wasn't allowed to make those noises. Lance was a bad omega. He didn't deserve to have an alpha. 

Lance was doing a bad job of being the pack omega. That's why Keith rejected him, right? Or is it because Lance is a boy? Of course! Keith must be so disgusted with Lance. He could never want a male omega. Lance was hideous. He was too fat and too skinny at the same time. His wrists were too bony but his stomach was so fat Lance thought he looked like a fucking walrus. 

Lance whined in sadness. Why did he have to be such a bad omega? Stupid omega? No one could ever love someone like him because Lance wasn't worth loving. All he did was anger people. Annoy them with his terrible pick-up lines which didn't make sense half the time. 

He was born to be alone.

He was born to be left.

Everyone left him. And who could blame them? Who'd want to stay with a useless, annoying omega like Lance? Lance's body shook from sobs escaping his clenched teeth. His tears dripped down his face and landed in a puddle on the floor. Lance had always been an ugly crier. Well, even uglier than usual. 

"Why?" Lance whispered to himself in a broken voice. "Why does everyone leave me? What am I doing wrong?"

No one answered. Lance's grief deepened, he was now drowning in it. If he didn't kick hard enough, his head would fall beneath the surface and Lance wouldn't have enough will power to break it once more. It's not like it mattered whether he did or not anyway. No one was waiting for him. No one would miss him. He could practically see them smiling, no Lance there to annoy them. They'd find a newer, better paladin, one they'd actually like. One who deserved to be there. Not Lance. 

His scent was no longer sweet. It probably hadn't been for a while, but Lance was only noticing it now. It was twinged sour with the scent of an omega in distress. It was salty like Lance had just inhaled salt packets. It was so potent it burned Lance's own nose. Lance stuffed a pillow into his face hoping to stifle the strong scent. 

Lance sobbed into the pillow, the next wave of heat hitting him causing the cries to grow louder. Lance was shaking so badly he dropped the pillow, it landed on the floor with a soft thud. Lance just wanted the pain to go away. Why did it hurt so much? Hadn't the world already punished him enough by making him an undesirable male omega, destined to be alone forever?