We

ten

The school carnival was always my favorite day of the year. It wasn't just limited to the students, so we went when we were little. There was always so much going on, I loved it. When I got older, it kept getting more fun, and this year was the first year that I didn't want to go. It's not like I didn't want to go with Will, I did, but I wanted to go with Nate. I was still excited to go, I just felt like I was letting people down. And I was really nauseous today, more so than normal, and I had already gotten one bloody nose today. Cancer sucks.

Jason did eventually ask Jo, Evan and Axel were going together, Sarah and her boyfriend, Zack, were going, Brent was being forced to take his little brother, Noah, with us. He just turned thirteen and is just as horny as his brother, and they both enjoy hitting on me. He's like a tiny clone of Brent. Nate was going, and he had to supervise his sister, so I told myself that he would've been to occupied anyway.

I was just finishing up on my makeup, which consisted of mascara, eyeliner, and lip balm, when Axel poked his head in my room. "Nate and Laura are here."

"Thank you, I'm almost done," I lied. I still had to finish my hair and get dressed. I had text William that I would just meet him there since our house was extra chaotic tonight. I heard a knock at my door. "Come in!"

It was Nate. I tried to hide my smile, but it was impossible. "Hey," he said with a lazy grin.

"Hey, I've still got to get dressed, what's up?" I asked.

"I have girl problems, and by girl, I mean Laura. She didn't tell me until the ride over that she's going on a date with Noah to the carnival," he complained.

"Awe, is this her first date?" I asked.

Nate shook his head. "They've been dating for a month and she didn't tell me. What am I supposed to do?"

"Let her make her own decisions because she is thirteen and can take responsibility for her actions," I replied honestly. "My brother was an ass when I started dating and I hated it. It turned into just me spiting him, not actually finding guys I liked, but ones he hated. Just let her live and she can come to you when she needs advice or help."

Nate smiled at me, "I hate it when you're right. So, are you excited for your date?" he asked awkwardly.

"Uh, yeah," I replied, searching through my closet. I finally found the romper I was looking for. "Aha!"

"Are you a magician now? Did you find a rabbit in there?" he offered.

"Haha, very funny," I deadpanned. "I finally found this, it's been forever. Can you turned around, or leave so I can change?"

"I'll go out and figure out who's riding with who, you finish getting ready," he replied. I smiled at him as he left. I pulled off my robe and put on some sun underwear, why not, and pulled the romper on. It looked great on me, for not been seen in a year. I pulled my Vans on and took a look at myself in the mirror, and I looked pretty awesome. I walked out into the family room to see only Nate and Laura.

"Did everyone else already leave?" I asked. Nate looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"Yeah, they wanted to get there early because they hadn't gotten their tickets," Laura replied for her brother. She gestured over at him, "he just thinks you look hot."

Nate finally broke his stare. "Are you two ready to go?"

We both nodded and I locked up the house and we got into his truck and went on our way.

~~~~

Once we got there, the rest of our group was waiting outside the entrance for us.

"Are you guys excited?" Jo asked. Jason nodded, staring lovingly at her. They're adorable. I spotted William and ran over to him.

"Hey, you look good," he greeted.

"Thank you, you don't look to bad yourself," I replied. I was given a smirk in response. I looked back to where all my friends were waiting and made eye contact with Axel, almost as if he was scolding me through his gaze. I glared band and turned to look at William, who was talking to one of his friends. I felt someone's gaze on me, and I figured it was one of my horny friends.

William and I went through the entrance to my persona Disney World and I was full of giddy emotion, ready to do everything. There were some games for the younger kids, and some stuff for the older kids that was not provided by the PTO. Our school was in the middle of suburbia, so the parents always blew a ton of money on things like a Ferris Wheel, which was my favorite part.

I first dragged William over to the dumb carnival games, where he won me a small stuffed turtle on the high striker. We just made small talk, something I normally hated, but I guess if I'm going for casual, small talk is a part of a casual relationship. We kept running into my friends and using them as a topic of conversation. First dates are awkward, that's understandable. The whole night, I kept getting texts from Axel, asking me how I was feeling, cancer and date, and I eventually turned my phone off.

After the games, we went and got food. I was kind of lightheaded and not terribly hungry, so I just got a soft pretzel and was nibbling on that. Jo and Jason met up with us for dinner and they seemed like they were having the time of their life. I was happy and kind of jealous. Maybe it was William, maybe it was me, but something was clicking.

"Hey, do you want to go do the Ferris wheel?" William asked.

I smiled, "It's only like my favorite part!" We ran over to get in line, and it was a really stupid idea. I hadn't had any water all night, and barely any food. My doctors told me I would start to get more anemic the longer we didn't treat this, and now it was only twenty-one days until treatment, it only took one week for me to become exponentially worse. I heard a ringing in my ears and I started to lose my footing and I was stumbling all over the place. I heard someone calling my name, but I couldn't tell if they were far away or right next to me, and everything faded to black. 

*******

thanks for reading

stay tuned

IG: @ sophie.mueller_