-Katie- 9am I'm out of bed, I'm packed up I'm so ready to leave this place! University definitely was not for me partying, drugs, stress, insomnia, depression, anxiety... the list of shit that goes on here is endless really and I'm done, I have no idea what my future holds or what I wish for it to hold but it does not include University. By 9:10am I am on the road to home, I take one last look through the mirror beside me at the hell I'm leaving not a single twinge of regret or sadness touches me, I pull out of the grounds and turn up the radio in the car and wind the windows down slightly, heading down the road towards McDonald's before hitting the motorway gotta get my mango and pineapple smoothie!.
I keep on the radio for traffic updates etc, apparently the motorway has traffic which is typical and expected of a Monday morning I decide to take a couple back roads on the route home, slight detour but beats sitting in traffic making the awkward eye contact with strangers in other cars. The sun shines bright causing my eyes to squint, I reach for my sunglasses and pop them on making my vision a lot better, the wind sweeps through the window and through my long dark hair I'm about an hour away from being home and I couldn't be happier! A grin creeps on my face and I sing along to the music playing on the radio Snow Patrol - Chasing cars such a good song let's be honest.
I'm singing my heart out to practically every song the radio station plays and then it hits. All at once the car is rolling and I don't mean on it's 4 wheels! My whole Uni room is thrown around me as well as the windows of the car 1...2...3...4 I count 4 flips of the car the Airbags blown up in my face, it's still. the sun overpowers everything is white, then everything is black, all I hear is muffled sounds and ringing behind white noise. Nothing, I can move nothing, I can't hear or see, even the blackness becomes darker and heavier. Sleep.
"Can you hear me? hello? FUCK! Please don't be dead. Hello I need an ambulance. YES QUICK SHES DYING" I barely make out the words I have no idea who this is, it's coming again - the darkness "Okay sweetie I know you're in there focus on my voice, don't let go girl" a different voice I also hear faint beeps. Sleep.
All is still dark, I hear the voices again, like every day I just have no idea who anyone is "How is she?" "Sir she's in the right place, we're doing everything we can, it's up to her now" it's up to me??? What!? "I can't believe I did this" I hear sobs "Son, accidents happen, we forgive and we forget" "But I nearly killed her, look at her" "Hey listen to me you heard the doctor, it's up to her now, she knows what to do" I DONT I DONT I DONT Damn all I know how to do is sleep! Why can't I wake the hell up? And I still can't feel any part of my body.
-Conor-
Great! I almost killed a girl. In fact who even knows what's going to happen? Will she even wake up ever? Good god I hope so I feel sick with guilt and fear every time I look at her, her body so limp, tubes and monitors everywhere. What did I do? Why couldn't this be me instead of her. "I'm so sorry" I tell her every day, it's been a whole month already. I'm too afraid to face her family properly so I wait until they leave, I can't handle knowing I've done this to their girl. I will spend the rest of my life making up for this. The minute I hit the top of that hill I should of slowed down especially when the sun hit my vision, I should of taken the motorway. What if I'd have taken the motorway I wouldn't of hit her! I'm so stupid!. It's up to her now, how is she supposed to know that, what if she doesn't know!.
Today they took her breathing tubes away she's breathing alone which is amazing, but she's still not okay, her legs are in casts, she hasn't woke up and she might not. If she wakes she will probably freak and press charges etc I don't blame her but I have to know how she's doing, and my fucking god is she beautiful!. She doesn't deserve this. Nobody does. I place the flowers I brung on the window ledge and open the window slightly, not too much I don't want her to get cold. Shit does she even like flowers? My mums gone to fetch me coffee I stand back I don't want to get too close to her I don't even know her, I stay back and watch her.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, I take it out and the screen reads "jack: iMessage" I unlock my phone and see what he has sent
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Typical jack he's always such a dick. Jess doesn't even care I'm not even sure why we're still together there's next to nothing there between us. She's beautiful and one time I did feel a lot for her but now I just feel sorry for her. Plus she's psycho Jacks right she would flip and hit the roof if she knew I was here visiting Katie. God such a pretty name for a pretty face.
