Turning on my heel I'm faced with who I already assumed are her parents, fuck. Yes I've been avoiding them. "Er, Sorry" I barely whisper out these words as my heart practically falls out my ass "Katie's parents, and you are?" Her dad points between them and raises his eyebrow waiting for me to answer, how do I speak? What do I do or say? Why isn't my voice working? "Con...Conor.. um Maynard sir, I'm so sorry" shit Maynard! "You're the piece of shit!" He begins yelling and I want to curl in a ball on the floor but I'm stuck "my girl! My little girl!" His eyes pool with tears "John!" Her mum warns and puts her hand on his arm "I swear on everything I have I didn't do this on purpose, I would never, the sun on the hills, I didn't see, I'm so so sorry I did this, she's so beautiful she deserves so much in life, if I could swap with her and be the one lying in that bed I would without a single thought please believe me that this was an accident" pleading not for forgiveness but for them to believe me. I sat down on the seat beside me with my head in my hands, I am ashamed, nobody deserves this! I let out a slight sob. If she dies I've torn this family apart even more. "It was an accident we know" her mum placed her hand on my shoulder "there's no way you could have seen each other properly on those hills with the sun, we don't blame you, these things happen we're just hoping katie can wake up from this" aren't we all?
"Growing up has always been tough on her, but look at her, she's everything a girl dreams to be! She's beautiful, she cares so much yet not at all, she loves like no other, she aims to please everyone before herself honestly she's the most selfless person I've known. People walk all over her all too much and by the looks of it she had given in with University, she would always say she had no idea what she was doing there. She wants nothing from this world but peace and happiness, something she gave me from the day she was born" Katie's mum speaks of her and I can tell and feel how proud she is to be her mother all while tears roll down her face and she's comforted by Katie's father. "She really is beautiful" I agree with the biggest smile ever, shit of course she's beautiful, I beg over and over in my head that this world gives this girl the chance she deserves to live again. "I really am so sorry this happened to her" I shake my head. my eyes sting daring to shed tears. I leave the hospital, leaning up against the barrier outside I let out the biggest breath I had no idea I was even holding. I pull my phone from my pocket there's multiple texts from Jess and a couple missed calls from her and Jack - why are they so obsessed with me?
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I roll my eyes and call her "Conor?" "Hey" what does she want "Where the hell are you? Why are you ignoring me!" "I'm at the hospital Jess" I state the obvious, she knows where I am she just wants to hear me say it so she can start an argument "Again are you fucking serious? You don't even know her Conor and all of a sudden she's more important than me" I yawn as she goes on "Jess I almost fucking killed her, she's fighting for her damn life because of me. More important that you? Could you be any more self centred get your head out of your ass Jess it is not a hat!" I spit back at her and she's quiet "I'm done Jessica I can't do this. I almost killed someone and because I went to see how they were and you're jealous of that? Wow well I'm sorry it's not you lying in the hospital bed fighting for your life maybe you wouldn't be jealous then if it was you I almost killed and was going to check up on in the ICU, get over yourself" I begin yelling at her and decide to hang up she texts me straight after 'I guess that's it? Bye Conor x' Good riddance poison. I probably seem so harsh doing that but people genuinely have no idea, one of those 'one rule for one another rule for the other' situations, I loved her... I just don't know where it went from loving her to only tolerating her for the sake of a relationship. She and my mother never got along because my mum knew everything she was before I saw it myself. "Conor?" My mums voice behind me I opened my eyes and turn to face her "she's going to be okay son, she will wake up" she hands me a cup of fresh coffee I brung it straight to my lips taking a small sip "me and Jess are over" I look for any kind of reaction from my mum "Oh... I'm sorry" she's not sorry "are you okay?" "I'm fine, she's everything you said she was, why do I never listen to you" I sighed "Name one person who listens to their parents?" She chuckled and I smiled... true
I head off home for the rest of the day to sit and wallow and wonder, separating myself from the rest of the world surely isn't the best option but I really can't be arsed with people. Netflix and bed it is, I close my blinds and wrap myself up in my duvet and start the series of '13 reasons why' that I'd heard people banging on about. Yes I too am a sucker for these kind of programmes/films, and I hear Jess and Tony in this are fine pieces of ass.
