ill do better. •jihan•

i'll do better.

"no," jisoo whispered.

...

"no, no, no, no."

-3 years earlier-

it was a cloudy day, and jisoo was lazing about in the park. summer was meeting its end, transitioning into autumn. it was a peaceful day, and he was bathing in his youth. he was thinking about nothing in particular when he felt a tap on his shoulder. he opened one eye, and nearly gasped at the sight before him.

the person who had gotten his attention was gorgeous. his hazel, lengthy hair, flowed elegantly. his sparkling brown eyes made the boring color seem like the most sacred gem in the world. his glowing skin appeared as a cream cotton pillow, soft and flawless.

"hi, is anyone sitting here?" he spoke softly, smiling as he pointed to the spot next to jisoo.

jisoo nearly melted. his voice matched his angelic looks, smooth and gentle.

"no, no, make yourself comfortable." the flustered boy replied, still shocked by the individual now sitting next to him. he seemed around jisoo's age, right on the cusp of adulthood.

"jeonghan." the stranger spoke again, and it wasn't until he repeated himself that jisoo realized the former was addressing him. "yoon jeonghan, that's my name." jisoo's eyes snapped to the person sitting next to him — jeonghan — as he tried too hard to formulate a response.

"joshua. no, jisoo. hong jisoo. joshua is my american name." jisoo turned a light shade of pink, embarrassed that he had stuttered over his own name. jeonghan, on the other hand, seemed intrigued. he glanced at jisoo and chuckled, and the latter could've sworn that his world brightened up.

"you're from america? that's so cool!" jisoo nodded, finally getting a bit more comfortable around the other male after talking more about his hometown in los angeles. the two teenagers shared laughs and exchanged phone numbers soon after.

months passed, and the two teens became almost inseparable. whenever they were together, the room would just light up. it was winter when it all went downhill.

jeonghan and jisoo were lying on the couch. they were watching a rather terrible and cheesy romantic comedy, criticizing everything about it. jeonghan seemed a little fidgety, but jisoo ignored it for the time being. after a couple more minutes, jeonghan excused himself to use the bathroom, and jisoo acknowledged it with a soothing hum.

he paused the movie and sat up straight. he had to think.

he and jeonghan had been friends for a little over 6 months, and jisoo couldn't imagine how his life was without him. every second that he was alive, he thought of his best friend. he thought of when they were going to hang out, how his day was going, hell, he even dreamt about him. some would say he was in love. but jisoo knew that jeonghan thought he was straight, and shit, even jisoo thought he himself was straight.

jeonghan could never even see jisoo like he saw jeonghan.

after almost drowning in his thoughts, jisoo realized how long jeonghan was taking. he usually would take long getting distracted and playing on his phone, but today, jisoo felt uneasy. as if something bad had happened. so he got up and marched over to the bathroom.

knocking gently, he spoke up. "jeonghan?"

soon after, he heard sobs. worry immediately built up in jisoo, and he knocked a little more frantically. "jeonghan. are you okay?" he raised his voice but kept a soft tone to it.

"jisoo, jisoo... i need help." jisoo reached for the door knob, but it was locked. "i-i'm scared, i don't know what i did to myself. i don't know why i did it jisoo, i need help." the shaky sound of jeonghan's voice made him more than worried, jisoo felt like he was going to vomit if he didn't know what happened. "hannie, please, open the door." at the request, there was faint shuffling and the sound of a lock clicking.