❝is my life that interesting?❞
❝your life is the best subject I could capture.❞
♡
in which a news team director and the #1 guy in school team up to make the hidden girl 'famous'.
taelluring
summary: the definition of unpopular made into a person until one day, the news team decides to loosen up and make her a headliner with false news to spice up the end of the year.
warnings: strong language. drugs/alcohol usage. very explicit/offensive content !! please read at your own discretion:)
characters: park chanyeol x reader x byun baekhyun ft. other members (occasionally).
chapters: 1 |
word count: 7.3k
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i'm different. i not only oppose societal expectations, i fall below them. far, far below them. no one knows, because no one really pays attention to surroundings anymore. i'm decent, if not average, looking, but i can never come up with the answer to 'what am i doing wrong that's preventing me from rising me to his/her level?'. actually, thinking about it as the minutes pass by..maybe it's the lack of social skills or social motivation. whatever the reason, i'd really like to know.
i've asked my mother before. before she left my life, of course. i asked her how many times a day is it healthy to smile. she didn't answer..but she instead countered my question and asked what i thought the answer was. i was at a loss for words. time passed, days passed, and those days add up into months. twelve months in a year. seventy six months later, her time was near the end. being the obnoxiously innocent but curious fourteen year old i was, i asked her if she was okay.
without answering, her smile altered but continued to say, "you need only to smile when you really feel that happiness deep within here." she placed a hand just above my heart, where only some bones and thin skin severed the chance to actually come into contact with such a delicate power.
"what does happiness mean?" the answer wasn't very obvious, especially when observing the sight of the one person holding the heart that's ever been beating for them lying helplessly, expecting nothing but to wake up and meet life no longer.
"happiness is subjective, really. it maximises life's joys and minimises life's hardships. but, nothing such like this comes for free. you work for the feeling. you nurture the feeling. if you don't, our definitions of happiness might not match up, y/n."
a tear finally escaped through the corner of my eye, left to find its own trail down my left cheek. trying to return a smile for my mother's sake, though even if i tried to show her i was strong, just like she was at one point, she'd see right through it. she was right. i'd known what happiness was from the start of my very own life. that short-lived feeling, it started with her and would end with her. i'm sure of it.
so i couldn't come back. it isn't that i didn't want to. almost everyday went by, though that nagging feeling to drag myself all the way through those hospital doors and see my mother lying on that hospital bed slowly losing herself, dissipated. every minute, the need to go back slipped away. i knew she didn't want me to see her in such a vulnerable position. she raised me to become a strong, independent woman in the future. i couldn't let her down.
