p4stel's colors |' Bangtan.

2

Kim Mi Jin (Chi)

"i'm not perfect
i'm not that one person who gets straight As
i'm living
just the way
i want."

i sang the last part of our song after writing it. yes, i am a rapper but i can sing too. people won't notice anyway if i sang it (they mistake my singing voice for jiwoo's since she has a high pitched-ish voice as well) until they see us sing live.

a few years ago, i wanted to be a rapper and a vocalist. but the vocalist part got crushed when we, P4STEL, were predebut.

***

one year ago

"I can't take it,
I want to get discharged and date you
I try to get you to fall for me every break
Wait for me,
you can date other guys during that time
But just go home before it's 22:00-"

i stopped singing one of my favorite songs, 2 years apart by eddy kim, as soon as i heard a knock on my room door. "come in." i say awkwardly. what if they heard me?

our manager came in. well, i guess that's okay if she heard me. "hi, sweetie." she always had treated me as a child. she called me baby names, she took care of me, etc. she was like a mother figure to me. the older members always payed attention to jia, the original maknae, so our manager payed attention to me.

"hi." i smiled at her as she took a seat beside me.

"you're doing well! my little kimchi is so talented~" she praised while pinching my cheeks. "this little rapper and vocalist is doing so well." she praised once more.

"uwah~ stop~" i giggled and she let go of my cheeks.

"do you want anything while i'm out?" she asked.

"nope." i shook my head. she nodded her head and stood up to walk out the door. i was about to go back to covering 2 years apart but..

"i'm buying you bubble tea anyways!" my 'mother'-manager yelled from the hall. i whined but i bet she didn't hear it. i get up to close the door but as it was about to close someone just had to open it.

"yah! jia-yah, don't do that. you might accidentally get hit by the door." i scolded but she passed right by me and sat on my bed, ignoring my little lecture about getting hit by a door. aish this stupid ass kid.

"just because your older doesn't mean you're wiser." i internally swore at her. she's a brat around me, i don't fucking know? she's just different. is she jealous because our manager gives more attention to me? is she mad that i don't pay attention to her? is she jealous i get my own room while she gets to stay with the rest? is she-

"anyways, i think your vocal performance is lower than your self esteem." she says, fidgeting with her nails. "you're better off just a rapper- wait no, your rapping performance is bad too. so you're better off going home to your family."

i bite my lip. "just because i'm the second youngest doesn't mean-"

"i'm expressing my opinion. drop off the vocalist dream."

"your voice is too high pitched to sound good."

***

i agreed with jia. my high pitched voice made me sound like i was at least four. i liked it, i guess. what i don't like is when people point it out.

jia was actually kicked out. none of our fans knew about her at all, not even PAST3L (the other part of PAS7EL).

what took me out of my thoughts was someone calling my name.

"kimchiiiii~!" i turn to see my 3 other best friends, nari, krystal and somin. somin forcefully pushed down nari for her to sit down. "yah, somin-ssi." nari growls. in which, somin replied with eye rolling.

a group of boys suddenly walked behind nari and one of them accidentally stepped on her skirt, making her scowl but nod when he apologized. he looked familiar. i just don't know who he really is. the group had seven people. it was like some gang, probably gonna hurt someone.

but why am i feeling like people are staring at us?

***

written by: -jininfiresme (admin weewoo)

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