Please Don't Touch Me...

Please Don't Touch Me... (Part 5)

**TRIGGER WARNING**

He was gone when I woke up. I could tell I had bruises all over my body from the struggle. I looked down at my body. I was only wearing what I would usually have underneath of my clothes. He had put a light blanket over me, covering my waist down. The sun was shining through the window. I would have usually said that this was going to be a good day. I told myself that this was going to be the last time I would see the sun shining through the window and that this was going to be my last day. I had a knife in the top drawer of my dresser. Oh, how I wish I could've used that to kill him last night. I hated living this life, I hated him, I hated myself and I hated my body. This was all his fault. I had enough confidence in myself until he ruined my life by doing what he had done to me. I stared at the drawer for a while from my bed before getting up and walking over to my dresser. I opened it and reached in before feeling for it underneath a few piles of neatly folded clothes. The bathroom was across the hall. I planned to do it there as I walked through the doorway. His door was closed. He wasn't home. Of course.

I closed the door behind me before reaching down and turning the faucet on. I let the water get hotter than I usually would have allowed it to be. I still had the knife in my hand. The rising heat from the water filled the room and steamed the mirrors. I stepped in. I didn't want to attempt drowning myself, there would be more risk of surviving than there would be slitting my wrists. I opened the knife and brought the blade to my wrist. I was right handed, so I brought it to my left arm. I breathed in deeply, whispering my apologies to everyone I had hurt in my entire life before pressing the tip into my skin to draw blood. I dragged the edge of the blade into my skin and across my wrist multiple times, some of the lines crossing one another as my vision became blurry. I gasped softly. It was difficult for me to breathe. My lungs struggled to get air and I enjoyed feeling the pain of my life slipping away compared to what I felt last night. I was staring at the ceiling as I gasped one last time before glancing down at the water, steam rising into the air as my own blood tinted the bath water red. I could feel the muscles in my body relax as I leaned my head back against the wall and breathed out deeply. It's all over now. It's all done.