This Is An Art

Chapter One: Using Stars

Oh, he looks so beautiful.

He looks down at the sandwich he’s eating, and places it on the tin foil next to him. 

“Cass, did you hear Sandra is presenting a new painting in the city?” he asks.  I nod.  “I wish I could go, but the tickets cost too much.  Besides, it’s on a work night, and we need the money..”  He stops me.  “But you could take off, couldn’t you?”  I think about this for a moment, my heart beat speeds up slightly.  I know that I could, but why should I remind myself of all the possible ways that I could achieve my dream?  After all, things like attending Sandra Jackson’s presentation of her new painting doesn’t happen to people like us.

            I look to the lake that we are sitting in front of, and then to Leo, and he’s still looking at me.  “Cass, you need to take off.  We are going to that presentation.”  And suddenly I feel as though my veins have turned to stone.  “We are?” I ask, to confirm the thought of my dreams coming true.  “I bought us tickets,” he says, ever so softly, and the blood runs through my body again.

            Sandra Jackson might be just another name to others, but to me, it is a work of art.  I have said the name so many times, that it floats off my tongue every time I speak it.  She is an artist, but her paintings drown your mind in all the words that have ever been spoken to you.  I remember Sandra’s most famous quote, said in one of her presentations, “We are all universes.  Tiny universes walking among a much larger one.  You have the stars inside of you, and they burn so brightly.  Use those stars.  Let others see the stars that have made a life in your bones, lungs, and heart.  Your heartbeat is a star’s glimmer, and your breath is the expansion of your tiny universe. Use the stars.”

            Her paintings create thoughts.  Sandra Jackson is not a human being, but she is Pablo Picasso and Vincent Van Gogh and Jackson Pollock.  She is everything I want to be.  Her words and brush strokes are carved into my mind so deeply.

            “You have used the stars,” I tell Leo.  And I kiss him.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

            I roll over in our mountain of white sheets, only to find Leo’s warm body next to me.  He grumbles a little when I put my cold hand on his arm, so I pull away.  My feet hit the floor and a burst of cold energy runs from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head.  The heavy air fills our small New York apartment, along with single streaks of sunlight coming through the windows. 

            And everything hits me.

            I’m going to see Sandra Jackson in three months.

            Three months.

            It strikes me that I don’t know a single thing about Sandra’s painting.  I open up my laptop, stiff from sitting through the cold nights without being opened.  I go on her blog, which she maintains quite well, and I scroll through a few entries.  I see What Does It Mean to Use Stars? and How To Think Like A Painter.  I finally find an article, titled, New.  It goes a bit like this:

            Good morning artists! I am going to assume that you’ve already heard the rumors.  Some filthy scumbag released the news.  We are going to forget about that irrelevant person for now. 

            As you know, it has been hard for me to come up with new ideas for paintings.  In the past few months, I have found that we, as humans, are so overly influenced by the normal routine.  This “normal” has defined us, and we must get rid of it.  It’s like a disease, an infection.  And I, as a professional, must see it gone. 

            I have painted something, and it is quite different.  I feel that when I paint, I am a different person.  I am no longer a human, but I am atoms and molecules.  As I was creating this new piece, I noticed that I was becoming something that I had never seen myself become.  If I must be so brutally honest, I was a bit scared of my own being.  But this new person, that I became when painting this piece, has created something I have never seen before. 

            So, don’t be scared or frightened when you finally lay your eyes upon this new piece.  Keep in mind that I work very hard to keep my fans interested, and it is very important that you-

            I take my eyes off the computer screen when I feel Leo’s kiss on my head.  “Preparing for the big day?” he asks, a morning glow in his eyes.  “I was just wondering about exactly what I’m going to see.  Is that so bad?” I tell him.  He smirks.  “You know, can you tell me about this whole ‘use the stars’ thing?” he asks, still smiling like an idiot.  He hands me a cup of coffee, and it feels comforting in my cold hand, which feels as though it’s the only part of my body that is still asleep. 

            “She has a whole entry on using stars, Sandra does,” I say, feeling a little too tired to talk.  He stares at me, and doesn’t look away until I speak again.  “You’re always using stars, but they never run out,” I mumble, underneath the breath barely coming out of my tired lungs. 

                        I slip back underneath the white covers.  Leo sits at the table, scrolling on my computer.  “She gets around,” he says.  “Seems to go everywhere to help charities….Look.  Here’s an entry on her working with UNICEF."  I roll my eyes, waiting for him to stop stating the obvious.  He seems to notice the little twitch, and runs towards me.  He jumps on me on the bed, and before I run out of all my breath, kisses me.