Where ever the train takes me..

Weak 21/31

Today is Weak 21,
I'm looking strait at the mirror across my bed in my bedroom completely destroyed of disgusting clothes and that unpleasant smell of sweat from last night. I guess it not a surprise that my eyes are red as blood and Covered with dark circle around my eyes of course I'm very tired because I couldn't sleep last night another dang nightmare. Still can't get that bad  memory away from my head. Since i was a little girl I started to get those weird nightmare out of the blue, I was afraid to sleep by myself always asked my mom to stay with me but she always left without even giving me that nighty kiss. I was left there in the dark room by myself and my  disturbing nightmares. Well I had to hurry to not miss the bus who is always filled with weird people that always look at me disgusted. Looking at them give me anxiety so when I walk I look down to not have any eye contact. Got up went strait to the bathroom, I finish to dress myself, I make sure I put my scarf correctly on my neck and nose area and get downstairs to grab some breakfast before starving to death and going to school with my belly completely empty. After I had to get ready to got to the bus stop. I drag my sorry ass every morning to school because my dad can't bring me because he's busy and my mom.... well she just can't. As I'm walking I'm looking down at my shoes that are completely destroyed over the years that I wore them, those old sneaker that I wore them since elementary school that magically still fits me. I should probably get another pair of new sneaker, my laces are torn and brown with sticky mud that stained them.

Finally arrived at my school, a bunch of student get out the bus and walking stray to school. I'm walking slowly towards my locker that is for no reason completely unorganised. As usually I change my sneaker with a pair of expensive shoes, and as I was trying to get my sneaker off of my feet a guy  that is standing at his locker that is exactly right behind mine. He is just standing there looking at me very weirdly, it not the weird part that disturbs me it the fact that his just standing there and looking at me. As I was preparing my stuff to get out of this awkward situation the guys start to open his mouths;

-HEY!!!, he screamed at me when I was trying to escape

I just started to run because I didn't want to get into any conversation with this dude, I'm walking again to my first class and this is were I have to fake my complete personality. I have to act like I'm happy. It because of my friends if they start to notice anything weird about me different they are going to notice for sure. They know me from another side of me they don't know me has I am. I'm basically lying to them of my whole life. A very boring class, the thing I don't understand is that why does every year the teachers says "this years is the most important years" and last year the teacher said exactly the same thing. I'm looking at the widows that are clear and the sun that is piercing through it, this day the wind was blowing very hard so the trees looked as if they were alive. Well they looked more alive then me that morning that for sure. It finally diner, I found a excuse to leave my friends. My very protective friend, Adriana, started to worry already.

-Gurl you sure your going, I can come with you if you want, I don't mind joining you, she said

-No it k I think I just need to finish our book we had to finish a few weak before

- Oh... ,k but..

- I'm telling you I don't need help

- fine, luv you gurl, Adriana said that and left with the rest of the girls

Even tho I finished that book we had to finish a few weak before, I still just wanted to get some  fresh air outside of the school. I'm walking outside people are looking, jugging, talking while I'm just looking at the ground because there probably talking about me. As I'm walking there this group of guys and a few girls that are very annoying  and that I cant deal with them. AND omg I had to do a weird eye contact with someone I didn't want to see again. it the same dude of this morning. His group of friends and him are getting closer to me, I'm thinking that I should just turn the other side and go back in the school. But I failed in the attempt of trying to escape again.

- Hey, you, the same weird dude from this morning said

I looked at him strangely and confused of what he wanted

- Yes you what's you're name?

I clearly wasn't in the mood to answer but he kept going with the same question, I tried to escape from his question but his friends completely surrounded me. I found a little hole from their formation that was my escape plan and it worked but someone at the last second grabbed my hand while I almost escaped. He started to strangle my hand but I tried to not look weak so I was suffering. The guys wouldnt leave me alone...