Transgressions of A Teenage Heirarchy

Author's Note

Author’s Note:

        I would first like to mention that any resemblance you may find with these characters in regards to real people in your own life are purely coincidental.  Yes, all characters in this memoir are based on real people, and this account is as true as day.  But I encourage you to not seek out the true identities of these characters, as it would be bad for both me and you.  The events throughout this memoir made me stronger; they did not break me completely.  I have been much happier in a new environment at a new school, and I like to think that should you find yourself in a position like mine or one relatively similar, you will not give up no matter how alone you feel.

        You might think, "She's one to talk."  It is true I was fortunate enough to never have been physically harassed in any way.  It is true that I was never shoved into lockers or pushed to the ground or kicked until every inch of my body ached.  In fact I look up in admiration to those who have and have kept persevering in spite of it.  But to those who argue that what I experienced wasn't real, I say that that is your opinion and solely an opinion for that matter.  In my three years of middle school, I may not have faced physical pain, but you can bet I felt the emotional and psychological effects.  Imagine everyone hating you, everyone talking behind your back, everyone believing in lies about you that spread like wildfires, everyone ditching you and excluding you on purpose.  

        And the worst part of it all was that I couldn't tell anyone.  Not a lot of people cared.  Not a lot of people wanted to actually help me, and an even lesser amount of people even believed me.  Over the course of my three middle school years, my family kept telling me, “Keep holding on; it gets better.”  I never believed a word they told me, not because I simply thought they were wrong, but because I didn’t want to believe them.  I didn’t want to believe in a world where pain only existed to hurt those for the time being.  I didn’t want to believe in a world where pain served as a test to see if you were strong enough to survive.  I still dont want to believe in the aforementioned things, but I can assure you one thing: I was never more wrong than in that moment to think that the pain was eternal.  Please, I beg you.  You must understand that you will not suffer for the rest of your life.  

        I am walking, living, breathing proof that this pain you thought would last forever does in fact end.  The world will evolve and continue and flourish and you will be okay and reach a point where all you feel is complete love and utter happiness and you will be so glad you didn’t give up when you reached your breaking point all those years ago.  If you are having suicidal thoughts of any kind, you can call 1-800-273-8255 or visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.  If you don’t feel like talking to a person you don’t know personally, tell a trusted adult.  Tell a parent.  Tell another family member.  Tell your best friend.  Tell someone.  You cannot keep pain bottled up inside because one day you will explode and it will change your life and the lives of those around you forever.  I’m not great with statistics, but as of October 2010, forty-five states had laws against bullying.  Bullying should not be tolerated, especially since it is illegal.  The world is a scary, scary place, but I'm hoping that by treating others the way we want to be treated, at least one of the evils can be defeated.  Thank you for taking the time to read this notice.