Billie and Zoboomafoo; A Love Story

Not just a Lemur

Billie chucked her Louis Vuitton bags on the floor, launched her dad hat onto the chair in the corner of the room, missing, as it landed on the floor. Billie didn't care though, she wasn't one to care. She threw herself backwards onto her bed, phone in hand and shut her eyes, it was late, the tiredness had seeped through the bedroom door lurking in the air. Just before Pirate could drift off, a loud noise went off

"Copycat tryna cop my glamour watch your back when you can't watch mine-"

It was her phone.

Of course her ringer was Copycat, her own song, Billie was narcissistic, that's why we all loved (love) her.

She rolled her eyes and groaned, pulled the phone up to her face and placed it by her ear

"Who dis?"
...
"Um, hi... my name is Zoboomafoo, big fan, I heard you speak about me earlier on the radio"

Billie shot up in surprise at the name, blushing, she sat on her bed legs crossed.

"Oh shit, hi, I didn't know you watched- well, listened- to- .... ah fuck my bad I'm a bit shocked"

"Listen I don't wanna stall u, come over, I ain't here to waste time."

"Shit den, aight if u say so"

She new exactly what he wanted, he was her king, and god help anyone that dare disrespect the king

She got up, went outside, and decided on which of her twelve cars to drive tonight,

Ugh fuck it, the Tesla'll have to do

Her eyes rolled, nothing new there....

On the way to mr Zoboomafoo's house she blasted Lovely in the car, singing every word, because like said earlier, she's a narcissistic fuck, which, again, is why we love her... ANYWAYS, back to the story.....

Billie got to his house, hopped out her car and walked up the steps to the house. The door was unlocked, pushing it open there was no one inside.

"Mate if ur gonna tell me I came all the fuckin way here for nothing u can shit on a brick and call me Nancy"

Following the staircase she took the first door on the right, swinging it open, there stood a 2ft lemur in a dressing gown.

He wasn't just a lemur

He was the sexiest thing Billie had ever seen.

Forget all the rappers, all the fine as wine crushes she'd had in the past, they didn't compare to what was stood right in front of her, or, below her rather...

He undid his robe and from then on they had the best night of their lives.

{Y'all thought I was gonna write the dirty in description, y'all was wrong, it's late as shit, I'm tired, and I'm writing about a girl shagging a fucking two foot tall lemur.}

Billie went home, did her nightly ritual of consuming twenty seven packs of Takis before bed, and slept.

In the morning she found out she had chlamydia and was gon die from makin love to an animal.

It was worth it.

The end.

Someone help. I'm so tired but I had to write this based off the live from tonight💀.
Billie if u ever see this know i regret nothing.
And I love u w everything.
-h