My Rose

You're a rose
be with someone
who isn't afraid
of your thorns.
—r.h. Sin

OUT OF ALL THE adjectives people have used to describe Lauren's physique not once does she recall being compared to a rose. At least not until Normani Kordei came along. It was the most beautiful compliment she had ever received. Butterflies formed a storm in her gut whenever the nickname exited her plump lips.

All it took was Normani uttering 'My rose' in order for Lauren to turn into a puddle. She was putty in those ebony palms.

Normani claims that the reason she chose the nickname was due to how guarded Lauren is when it comes to her heart. The fact that the melanin beauty was able to sense her pain without her needing to state it is profound. For the first time someone wasn't afraid of her thorns. Normani managed to touch them without being hurt on multiple occasions. The thorns she uses to protect her heart. When Lauren loves she does it with every bone in her body. She has received the same treatment at some point yet it was short lived and ended with heartbreak.

At first it seemed as if the most the two would be is friends. This was obviously false. Especially with Lauren's tongue licking up all the juices that oozed from Normani's center. She pulled back as the girl came for the fifth time and riddled her thighs with love bites.

Lauren practically mewled as her hand gently touched her head. She craved the touch of the melanin beauty more than she could handle. It was an overwhelming sensation.

"My rose." Normani sang, Lauren could hear the smile in her voice. "Come here."

The Latina didn't need to be told twice and crawled back up her vivacious form. "Yes?" She whispered, planting gentle kisses anywhere that her lips could reach.

"You know I love you and appreciate everything that you do for me."

Lauren froze at the familiar emotion that is deja vu. Her tone was indicating she had found someone. The Latina had heard it more than enough times to know that, that is what that sentence means. Less time with Normani meant that the possibility of losing her for good was leering over her shoulder.

Lauren wanted this tiring charade to end. They shouldn't just be having sex with one another, friends with benefits don't do the things they do. Not unless they're secretly longing for one another. As far as Lauren's concerned her emotions are unrequited.

Lauren Jauregui isn't a second choice nor should she constantly feel like one. Normani – often –bluntly flirts with others in her presence then goes to her when it doesn't work out the way that she wanted. Meaning she would come seeking comfort but in the end they wouldn't simply have sex. They would make love.

It was toxic but also something neither of them could escape. Escaping meant no more Normani and without Normani...Lauren chooses not to think about that.

"Who is it this time?" She questioned in a monotone voice. Her expression in different, all traces of happiness gone.

"What?" Normani responded, shocked by her response rather than the usual 'I love you too' that she would receive.

"You know...your next fling. The person you throw me to the curb for then come crying back to me because even if your subconscious knows it, it seems your conscious doesn't realize, you only find solace in my being in terms of romance." She got off of Normani's form throughout her rant. Lauren slipped back on her shirt and sat back on the bed. "Who is it this time Normani, what fucking idiot do I have to deal with this time that's going to break your heart and have me pick up the pieces. Let alone they're probably not even good enough for you, they never are." She shrugged and stood back to her feet. Lauren practically stomped over to her dresser and grabbed a hair tie. She bended over and tied her hair into a bun. "Because I know in my heart that I'm good enough for you, no one is going to love you better than I can or treat you better, all of those pendejos that you choose to give a chance only care about your body. They don't care about how you only like cream in your coffee because you feel like sugar would make it too sweet or that you prefer dogs over cats because–because of that incident you had with a stray orange cat that you joked about having rabies or that you still sleep with your favorite hello kitty blanket to this day or how you can do a whistle note on Mariah Carey's level. They don't give a rats ass about any of that shit!" Her eyes tingled. Lauren would cry any second now which was the only reason she chose to stop talking.

Normani was truly rendered speechless, unsure of what to say. She sat up slowly, breaking eye contact with Lauren to slip back on her bra, underwear and basketball shorts. Her rose was upset–wounded, she'd practically ripped off her petals with her bare hands and expected her to come back to life with minimal effort. Normani wasn't aware of how the Cuban felt nor did she realize she had been hurting her this much. Lauren had it all wrong, that was for sure.

"Lauren." She said and stopped in front of her, restraining herself from physical contact. "There isn't anyone else that I want to be with who isn't you." The tears escaped Lauren's eyes just as she stated that sentence. "You've always been it for me and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to realize it that you've adapted an entire speech to the issue. I genuinely love you with every fiber in my being Lauren Michelle..." Those green eyes were filled with so much pain that it took Normani's breath away. "You're absolutely right that no one else cares about that but you and I'm glad you care for me–"

"I love you. I fucking love you so much Normani. My heart would pulse with pain whenever you'd go out with someone else but I did nothing about it because you always came back to me!" She cried. "But there's this pending fear in the back of my head that's telling me 'what if she doesn't come back one day, what will you do then?' and that alone scares me because I don't know." Lauren covered her face with her hands. "The thought of you no longer being in my life, scares me."

The sight of the woman she's so madly in love with caused her to cry as well. "I'm sorry." Normani couldn't help herself and wrapped her arms around her. "You won't have to worry about that, you are my rose I call you that for a reason, you're beautiful in every single way and have thorns that protect you from the people that hurt you. I'm sorry that I've become one of the people that you've attempted so hard to keep away." She inhaled a shaky breath. "Hurting you has never been and never will be my intentions."

Lauren pulled away from her and took several steps back. "This isn't realistic, you aren't supposed to express how upset you are with yourself for hurting me, you're supposed to tell me you don't want me and that my expectations were too high and that–"

"Stop that shit right now." Normani pointed her index finger at her then wiped her face vigorously. Ridding it of tears. "That isn't who I am as a human being, I love you and I want you."

"But–"

"No, I'm not going to treat you this way and leave you high and dry, wondering if you're the problem." Normani took one wide step forward and smashed her lips against Lauren's.

"I love you...please just–"

"I cannot promise you anything because neither of us are aware of what the future holds, but, I can tell you that you are my rose and I will never be afraid of your thorns nor will I run away from them because it's 'too much of a challenge'." Normani blended her fingers as she mocked the words of one of Lauren's exes.

That beautiful smile the melanin beauty loves so much made an appearance. Lauren timidly places her hands on her neck and shut her eyes, leaning her forehead on Normani's.

"No more friends with benefits or flirting with other people in front of me, you're mine and I'm yours?"

Normani witnessed her eyes crinkling as she squeezed them shut as if she were afraid of her answer. "No more sex?" She pouted then laughed as Lauren opened her eyes to glower at her. "I'm kidding...yes, My Rose, my Laurenza that's how it's going to be for what I hope to be the rest of our lives."

Lauren's green eyes softened and lightened, she closed the gap between them. Tears of joy escaped her eyes as soon as she opened them. "That's all I've ever wanted."