The Wings of a Mate

Clam

I locked the door behind me as I went inside my nice little cottage. We made a very big dent over the hours, the living room was done, so was the dining room. Ryder helped me hand some paintings in the hallways, and drill in curtains. Maybe tomorrow I will tackle the kitchen, and go grocery shopping.

Ryder dropped my off with my leftovers after the diner. He had his arm slung around my shoulders, and seemed tenser than usual. Most of the seats were filled with groups of friends or couples, I paid for our meal in thanks of all of the help he gave me today. He was so stubborn about me paying. I took quite a while to convince him I should.

That's a lie i didn't' convince him. I got out of the cozy booth and waltzed up to the diner. I asked for the ticket and gave her my card. She said that Ryder won't be too pleased with that. I replied that he could stuff it.

There was a very odd part in the beginning where everyone was looking at me, then silence. It was very odd. I didn't know what to think about it. A canine like growl ripped through the roo and everyone went back to their meal. Ryder looked especially tense then. I trudged up the stairs, and walked into my room.

The light blue sheets were thrown to the foot of the bed, on my dresser there was a tortoise cage. I walked right up to it. "Hi Clam, how are you?" I asked the reptile. He looked at me and started to slowly walk towards me. The broccoli I left this afternoon was gone, and the water was dirty. "Clam! How did you manage to get your water dirty in such a short amount of time?" He only opened and closed his jaw.

I took him to the bathroom and set him in the shower, directly under the faucet. Clam loves the water, especially when it gets directly on his shell. Stripping too, I set my towels on the toilet (the hooks were not yet installed) and turned the water on as hot as I could manage.

My wounds were angry as i carefully pulled out my wings. The water running down the stiff from being cooped up all day slowly wearing off. Clam was dancing under the water, in his own little bubble of happiness. I never did get Ryder's number, so I can't ask for more help tomorrow. I was so tired, I set clam down and put him back in his home. I was out before my head hit the pillow.

I didn't get out of bed yesterday.

I couldn't

I wouldn't

It was too hard

When I opened my eyes, there was nothing but blackness. I blinked. Again. Again, the room was dim. Clam's home wasn't there. I was back in my crate, the bars flew into position. The rooms walls closed in. My breathing became rapid, I enclosed myself in my wings, hoping to finds some sort of comfort. None came. I screamed, no one heard.

I cried.

No one heard

I was alone, in the vast nothingness.

So I shut my eyes,

And let the darkness win today.

It's Sunday now, I had my first day of school here on Friday.

The first thing I did was go out back. I layed on the grass and looked at the blue sky, not caring my wings were out. Not noticing that I was in nothing but my skin.

I wept, clutching the solid ground and brightness for god knows how long.

Then I forced myself to feel nothing.

I went inside and put on music, music with little meaning other than the need for sound. Every window was open, I only wore a thin nightgown, as little clothes touching me as possible would be great. One on the reasons I bought a large enough house was for my wings. I cleaned and fixed up the kitchen. I went grocery shopping. I flew up to the roof, sitting facing the forest, watching the sun set.

I chased after it until the stars showed me my way home.

My heart was heavy the whole time.