sᴛᴏʟᴇɴ | ᴊᴜɴɢ ʜᴏsᴇᴏᴋ

Chapter 5 : Memories

"ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇʟʟ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ."

"Hyejin, you need rest. You don't need me." I started to leave the room as I tucked her nicely in her bed. "Nooo~ At least.. talk to me to sleep..." She pouted, half asleep. Cute. But smelly.

I sat on her bed, facing her. "Well, then, Hyejin. What should we talk about?" I gave her a tired smile. I wanted to sleep as well. "My motheeeeeeerrr~~" She smiled, obviously drunk. "I think that's not a good subject to talk about." I tilted my head at her. She pouted. "My eommaaa~~ she was a beautiful woman~~~~" Her lids were half closed. "She would taaaake caaaaaare of me whenever I get siiiiiiiick~" She said in a loud voice.

I really think we shouldn't talk about this. She's been hurt a lof of times. Why would she keep thinking of it? "Hoseooooooooook..... I love.... my moooooooooooOOooOm!!!" She started weeping. Oh my god. "Hyejin, let's just take a nap, alright?" I was going to tuck her in bed she refused. She shook her head. "My.... mom... she loooooooooved meeeee.."

"Yes.. She loves you.." I could see her honest tears of sorrow in her eyes. "Why? Why wouuuuuuuuld she leaaaaaaaave me here in this wretcheeeeed woooooooooorld?!!!" She screamed out her pain. I carrassed her cheeks. It was moist from sweat and tears.

"Shhhh.. let's go to sleep..." I patted her head slowly. Her tears was still streaming down. She kept sniffing till she tucked herself in bed. She closed her eyes, still crying. My heart.. it hurts seeing her like this. She went through a lot without anyone knowing. Without me knowing.

I regret ignoring the fact she left. I kept saying to myself she was okay. When she really wasn't. I was supposed to be there for her. It's all my fault. Now, look at her. Still not moving on. She can't let go of her mom. Or the doings of her dad.

"Hyejin-ah..." I noticed she was crying in her sleep. She was probably dreaming of her long lost mom. I wiped her tears. She kept muttering words. "Everything's going to be alright..."

I suddenly heard her say words that I didn't know would break my heart. "Why weren't you there..?" She continously weeped. Why weren't I there? Let's see.

Firstly, studies. My parents wouldn't let me skip a day from school. Secondly, I thought she was okay despite the news that time. Her company, it didn't even exist in people's eyes. I wondered what happened.

Lastly, she didn't tell me.

I felt a lump on my throat. And it was guiltiness. She stopped saying words but kept crying. I hate it.

I hate it when I see her like this. Hopeless, no one to cling onto when she has everybody. She thinks no one loves her except her mother. I hate it when she thinks lowly of herself. I bet while she was at the early days of her passed away mom, everybody avoided her. Everyone thinks she became crazy. And I was one of them.

I wondered why I was like that then. I always that one person who believed otherwise. But.. I wasn't there for her. I believed in the rumours in school instead the person itself. I'm foolish. I'm always fooled by people.

She started to slumber to dreamworld. I hope she doesn't get a nightmare. I sat up then kissed her forehead for luck. I stood up and started to leave her room. I stopped in front of her light switch. While I was looking at her, sleeping. I turned it off and closed the door behind me.

She was looking for someone to believe her. And I was supposed to be that someone. When in desperate times, I wasn't there. How stupid am I to be like this? I peeked in Chaeyoung's room. She was sleeping as well. She replaced me. And I'm thankful. But also regretful.