It's dark in my room. I'm in bed, it's night and I feel blankets covering me. I lay there a few moments more before hearing a door bang like someone is desperately trying to get in. Scared by the noise, I get out of bed and head down the hall slowly. I reach the corner and the banging stops. I nudge my face around the corner and stare at the door. It's a glass door but I can't see who or even what was making the banging noise. I inch closer to it, curious in the whole situation. I see nothing and scoot my face closer to the glass. Just then, a sharp laugh blasts from behind me. I whip around and find a lawn gnome with sharp nails and teeth, standing there with an evil look on his face. He yells and jumps on me, knocking me on my back and beating me on the head and chest area. I swing my arm and hit him, sending him flying across the room.
I feel blood and pain pour from my head and chest. I beat my vision back and forth and take in sharp breaths. I reach upward, focusing on the phone, pleading for help.
Just as my fingers reach the edge of the table, another laugh roars from behind the phone and the gnome pounces from behind it, claws flared and teeth glaring. He stands on the phone and slams his tiny, porcelain foot on my fingers. I pull my arm down fast and cradle myself. I shut my eyes tightly and quietly plead for my life, knowing that it is about to be ended.
I hear the sharp laugh of the gnome once more, closer than before. I open my eyes to see the gnome creeping from the darkness, smiling ferociously.
I'm frozen with fear, unable to move with all the struggle I give. He inches closer, letting out a chuckle as he goes. He reaches my face and raises his clawed hand above himself.
He gives a wide smile and says,
"Cilla... " his eyes and smile grow wider,"WAKE UP!"
As his claws strike my face, my body jolts upward with impactful force.
"Just a dream..." I say, holding my hand against my chest, trying to regain my breath. "You don't even have a glass door." I say relieved in the fact it was only a dream. I lean over and check the clock.
Only 10:46. Plenty of time to go back to sleep.
I fall back into the sweat soaked sheets and cringe. "Great. I haven't even seen Fifty Shades of Gray and my sheets are all ready wet."
After allowing myself a giggle, I get out of bed and head to the bathroom and flip on the light. I turn to the sink and wash my face. I then dry off my face and look at my reflection.
"Wow. Lookin' like Beyoncé." I jokingly say as I flip off the light. I walk to the window and look out to the street. The streets were bare and the sky filled with stars and a full moon.
Just kidding.
This is Sacramento. There are about 20 cars lining the road and like 3 or 4 stars and a giant ass moon in the middle.
Maybe a walk will cool my nerves. Yeah. A walk. That's usually the solution for my unfortunate doings. Like when I dropped the turkey out of the oven on Thanksgiving, or when I accidentally set the Christmas tree on fire, or when I scared Great Uncle Jim into a heart attack on Halloween. But those were more of sprint-the-fuck-out-of-the-house-before-mom-finds-the-knives. I guess holidays just aren't my strong suit.
I throw on my jacket and boots, not forgetting my phone and keys, then head out the door. I make sure to shut and lock my door so those evil fuckers don't break in and wait for me under my bed. Rolling my eyes at my immaturity, I make my way down the hallway as fast and as quietly as humanly possible, to avoid waking the beast.
I make my way in the elevator and give myself a little victory whoop. "YES!" I yell, not knowing how to control my volume. My eyes widen as I hear her door unlock, and I jab the lobby button. How can a fossil like her move like Usain Bolt?
All I see is her slippers, face of green, night gown and hair curlers before I slam myself against the side wall.
"Do you know what time it is? Have some consideration for the ones who plan to wake up and keep their jobs tomorrow!" She growls, storming towards the elevator.
I mash the door closing button before it actually closes, right in the nick of time. One more second and she would have already had my head on a spike.
I'm supposed to be on a calm walk. So calm the hell down, Cilla.
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Well. The calm walk did take away the signs of any heart attacks but still doesn't take my mind of those Danny Devito looking assholes.
Why couldn't I be normal and not crazy? Like maybe even a different kind of crazy? Why can't I be a Kardashian.
Wow. Instant regret is real. So real and bursting with life.
I take in a deep sigh and look up at all the tall buildings that surround me. Some are dead of any light or activity and others still show the workaholics trying to kiss their bosses ass. I wouldn't know the feeling because I work in a sandwich shop and our boss has to kiss our asses just to keep us there.
I cross a quiet intersection and make my way down the street, continuing my stares towards the buildings. I stop and stare into a lit window from a building across the street.
No way.
There's no way.
I get my phone out and look through my contacts, trying find on the number of that guy I'd met earlier. I call it, waiting for the man in the window to move.
Only a few seconds later does he move, seeing the number and what seems to be an aggressive shushing of the other room occupants.
He answers. "Hello? Sandwich lady?"
"Oh is that what my name is? My mother must not like me that much. Or do I have an actual tattoo of a sandwich lady on my back?"
I watch the man in the widow synchronize his smile with David's laugh.
I can feel a huge smile spread across my face as he replies.
"You know, a great man once said lasercorns and sandwich ladies would make the whole world balanced again. End world hunger, zap out cancer, and give joy to all.",he says.
I laugh, "Hmmm.... I'm guessing JFK."
"Exactly.",he says with a laugh.
There is a short minute of laughter then silence.
I break the silence and ask what only could come out as a creep, "Im watching you."
I watch him through the window as his smile turns to a look of pure confusion.
He giggles as he says, "What?"
"I'm watching you. Look out your window."
He looks out and spots me. I smile and wave then quickly realize what I was doing.
"Oh, Jesus Christ! I'm so sorry! What am I doing! I'm such a creep!" I blurt out as I cover my face and turn away, somehow thinking he can no longer see me.
He laughs and says, "No no, you're fine. Just wait there and I'll head out. Bye."
He hangs up and I look up at the window to see him getting up from his desk and leaving the view of the window. Only a few seconds later do I see another guy with glasses and dark hair pop up in the window and wave to me with a big smile on his face. David quickly returns, pulling him away from the window. He smiles and gestures for me to hang on.
"He's coming out." I thought to myself. "You look like a crack head and he's coming out. Up close and personal." I take my sleeve and wipe my face and open my eyes wide trying to look more alive. I just making myself look like even more of a crack head. Why don't you just tear your skin off too.
I take a deep breath and hear a door open and close. I look over towards the building and see David heading over to me. He looks before he crosses the street towards me. A man who knows safety. Score.
"Hey." He says as he reaches me.
"Hel-go." I say, choking on spit. Of course I just did that. Can't speak proper English can you, Cilla.
"Are you alright? You need water?" He says, holding his arms out towards me.
"Oh no thank you. I'll be fine." I say, trying not to throw up on this poor guy.
He returns to his stance and says, "Good, because, I don't have any water."
He smiles and returns saying, "So what are you doing out so late?"
I look at him and say, "I just went out for a walk to cool down a while."
"Well, I could walk you home if you want."
I smile and lie so I don't seem desperate, "Oh I'll be fine, thank you though."
"Well I'm coming with you anyway. I'll be your big bad bodyguard. And when I say 'big and bad', I mean big and awful at his job." We both laugh and head back to my apartment complex.
This is great. I feel awkward and stupid, but pretty happy to have him here with me.
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He takes me up all the way to my door, and we wave goodbye as I grab my keys from my pocket and start to unlock my door. I stop and loudly whisper, "Hey, David."
He stops and whispers back, "Yeah."
"I'm sorry I'm the worlds biggest goober."
He smiles and says, "Cilla. Both of us, we are the world's biggest goobers."
We share a smile as he gets back on the elevator and waves as the doors close, making him disappear.
I open my door the rest of the way and jam inside. I quickly lock my door, fling my jacket and boots off and fly into my room. I dive into my bed and scream into my pillow like a 15 year old girl.
I look over at my clock.
12:15. Time for sleep.
I shut my eyes and can't wait for the nightmares to return, because now, I'm feeling invincible.
