depressing thoughts

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2 updates in one day damn yall must feel lucky? unlucky? idk im sorry this one hits close to home for me and probably some of yall. This subject is touchy but not something to be ignored I will warn you it may seem triggering for self harm, I will also tell you that instead of doing it message me listen to some music read a book go for a walk or run do something that will distract you or possibly cheer you up. I have an appointment thursday for my baby to be checked on. This will require my doctor to also look at my body to make sure I am handling the pregnancy alright. I have scars, im not proud that they are on my body but I am also not ashamed of them. I inflicted the damage to my body I have to bear the consequences and scars. They show I was weak but managed to make it past all the negative things going on. I see the scars every day some days they look faded other days they look dark, this may seem weird but I find it relatable the days they are faded tend to be the days that I feel more confident while the days they are dark I feel terrible and do not have very high self esteem. Keep this in mind for all of you with scars no matter how you obtained them they show that you made it through some sort of battle. They show growth and strength dont see them as negative think of how far you have come since you got them. Scars do not mean you are weak they mean you faced something difficult and made it they show you are strong enough to make it past something that was difficult. Look at your scars as achievements. I am not saying that self harm is a good thing it isnt but I know it is hard to get past but once you do you have to stay strong set goals for how long you can go and reward yourself every day you make it without the self harm the longer you go the better your reward should be, ask people you know and care about to help you get them involved that way you have support and they can help set up surprise rewards as well when they think you deserve and need them as some positive reinforcement.