Short Dark Storys

Black out **WARNING depression and suicide is involved**

       It's a week day in the summer in in early July. School is out and many of my friends go to different houses while I'm stuck at this house. I've been ignoring my biological dad cause he's been sexually harassing me for a while. My mom told me that I didn't have to go with him on the weekends or this summer July. I'm scared of him. He's never hit me but I'm scared he will. He says he's loved me in a voice mail when I didn't answer his first call. His message stated that he was done and tired of this. That he loves me and will see me soon. I cried alone and all I could do is apologize. But I never actuly said it to him. I cried and sat alone holding my phone close to me wishing I could feel safe in his arms again. Wishing I could be a little girl again so I wouldn't understand whats happening. I wish I was gone. I ran outside to try and run from my knifes on my desk as they call my name. They long to kiss the scared skin. I run outside leaving my phone but taking my purse and yelling to my parents I'd be out side. I ran and hid in our field. Trees surrounded me as I lay down on the ground looking up at the sky thinking how beautiful the blue was. I reach up to the sky but then let my hand fall back down which knocks my purse over. My knife my brother gave to me for Christmas fell out. I back away into the tree scared to even get close. I moved back over and cried. I do wish for the pain....I long for it....the satisfaction....the control...the feeling....of death...I'm done trying why should I try anymore? So many thoughts ran through my head. My anxiety is through the roof. I'm shaking terribly. Next thing I know all I see is black. When I gain back control I find myself running away from home. Walking down a street close to a high way. I feel the pain across and scattered on my wrists and legs. My stomach feels as if someone cut me in half. Blood is dripping from my hands from under the jacket I so carefully had on. I looked around and kept walking not knowing where I was going. My mind is blank. Very few thoughts run through my mind. I'm tired. I hurt. How bad are these ones. Where am I? I don't care anymore. I reach an intersection and look both ways  as if I care if I get hit. I see my Ex boyfriends mom and little sister along with her friends walking the opposite direction as me. When I look to my right I see him waving is arms at me and soon he's running over to me. I feel more weak as he gets closer and more thoughts begin to run 'round and round my head. He reaches me and I  feel sick. I start to loose my ground and I try to stand. I'm so dizzy I fall and he catches me. He asks me over and over if I'm ok and I answer each time that I'm fine. He picks me up and brings me to his friends house that his family was at. His dad rushes to us. His whole family still loves me, even him himself. He asks what happend and I heard them talking back and forth as they laid me on the couch. His dad took my temp and I had a fever. His dad noticed my hand dripping with blood and said to take my jacket off. The inside of the jacket was covered in blood. My wrists still dripped with blood from the deep cuts that carve into my skin. My shirt was covered by the jacket before but now the jacket is off and the blood has seeped through my shirt. He himself pulled up my shirt just enough to see many blade marks that screen 'Hello' in a red title. He told his dad to call 911 but his dad refused and said that, that would take to long. He picked me up again and rushed into their car. He grabbed a towel on the way out the door and covered me up. His dad sped down the high way as he held me close continuing to talk to me making sure I stayed awake. Not long til a cop was behind us. He kept driving for a while and then stopped. He told the officer the situation and the officer relied to follow him to make it their quicker. By the time we got there I couldn't open my eyes. I could still consously think for the most part. They all run in and the officer demands a doctor. He carefully sets me down and stays by my side till the doctors push him away. I could tell he was trying to fight them. He still cares about me....but why? I pass out but I can still hear beeping, loads of foot movement and yelling. I wish I could die. So that way my parents wouldn't have to worry so much....it'll completely get rid of the medical bills now. And maybe the ones from my past too....I pass out completely only hearing silence and only seeing darkness. I'm trapped in a room of black until I open my eyes. I see my mom and dad and my Ex boyfriend all sitting in a chair. His dad is standing in the door way. He is the only one I make eye contact with. The adults aren't paying attention. I close my eyes quickly so I don't see. He walks over to me and kisses my forehead and tells me it's time to get up. I sit up slightly and scan the room as all eyes are on me. A package of blood is strapped to my arm. I start to cry. Only one tear falls. He sets beside me and tilts my head up to look at him. "It's ok to cry." He says softly and brings me in and holds me tightly as a waterfall of tears fall from my sad eyes. I cry hard enough where I fall asleep in his arms. For once feeling a bit safe that I can relax slightly. Or maybe that's me letting go the last little bit of life I can hold onto.