Forever One Of The Reasons Why 2-Zach Dempsey

5

"Hey honey, how was today?" mom asked as she walked into the living room where I was reading a book "Fine" I said "Just fine?" she asked "Yes mom, what do you want me to say?" I said "I meant with everything that's going on" she said "There's nothing going on mom. Why is everybody blowing this way out of proportion? I don't understand. I girl killed herself and now it's the biggest news in town like that doesn't happen every day, all around the world. Thousands of people kill themselves every day, if we do something we should do it in a bigger way so it actually makes a change. Not run a stupid blog about 20 people protesting in front of the courthouse and stress kids, pressure them into doing testimonials for someone like Hannah Baker! Someone who-who is so desperate for attention she caused all of this but someone who's way too insecure and cowardly to actually face consequences so instead they take the easy way out and look for others to blame!" I said and she just looked at me, lashing out with tears running down my face "Hannah is not the only one that got raped by Bryce mom" I said "What do you mean, honey?" she asked "I-I mean there's Jessica too. Clay got Bryce's confession on tape but he's getting away with it, all of it. While the Bakers are so desperate that they're grasping at every little chance they get to find 'justice' for Hannah! They blame us, the school, the teachers. But how about them, they are their parents! They should be the first ones held accountable, not us. But they're not because they play their role well, as victims, just like Hannah did! Just like she always did, poor Hannah this, poor Hannah that. She deserved so much better, she was so nice. No mom, she wasn't! She wasn't so nice!" I yelled, the lump in my throat making it hard for me to speak "Calm down honey" she said and wrapped her arms around me "It's okay" she said but I couldn't top sobbing "I'm done with everybody talking about Hannah and what everybody did to her. It's not like that, at all. She twisted the story mom I swear" I cried "It's okay" she said and rubbed my back "Mom, I just...it's such a mess, all of it" I said "I know" she sighed "Did you take your medication today?" she asked "Yes mom of course! It's not about the medication or my sickness, it's about how Zach and Hannah had a relationship last summer! And he didn't tell me! Mom, on the tapes Hannah talked about how I was a horrible and selfish person. And how she refused Zach's flirting because she knew I liked him and made me look like a bad person! I just....mom I want to testify on the school's behalf tomorrow" I sobbed "Okay, okay honey" she said and wiped my cheeks "I'll call my lawyer and you can speak out tomorrow okay?" she said and I nodded "Why don't you go upstairs and lay down, okay? Clam down" she said "I'll call Jeff over" I said and she gave me a smile. I walked upstairs and dialed Jeff's number. After a couple of rings, he picked up "Hey, short cake" his voice spoke "Jeff, can you c-come over?" I said "Woah, are you crying?" he asked "Please just come over, I need you" I sobbed "Yeah, I'm coming right now. I'll be there in a little okay?" he said "Yes" I said "Alright, just lay down and try to relax" he said "Okay" I said and hung up. Jeff stayed with me all night. He's my best friend, he always has been. I'd be lost without him. I never understood how someone can be so selfless, so loyal and loving like Jeff. Everybody loved him and he loved everybody. He loved me, no matter what. And that made me feel good, it made me feel safe.
The next morning, I got ready for court "Your hair look lovely like this" mom said as she walked into my room "Thanks" I said "Is this what you're wearing?" she asked, picking up the black dress from my bed "Yeah" I said "It's pretty" she smiled and carefully set it back down "Are you sure you're...okay to do this?" she asked "Yes mom" I said "I just don't want you to get overworked" she said "You mean triggered?" I asked and she sighed "That's another word for it yeah" she said "Mom, I'm taking my medication, I'm eating just fine, the doctor said I looked fine, I'm going to therapy. I'm not letting this affect me, I'm stronger then that" I smiled and she did too "I'm very proud of you" she said and walked out of the room. I grabbed my medication box and took out my pills for the morning, walking over to my toilet and flushing them. I let the robe drop from my body and I looked in the mirror. A smile creped onto my face as I looked at my body. I looked skinnier. A thought flashed through my mind as I rubbed my abdomen. I was pregnant a few months ago. God, what a mistake. I put on my dress, heels and some perfume before grabbing my phone and bag, heading downstairs "Ready?" mom asked and I nodded "Alright, we'll meet Cedric there, we'll have an hour to go over everything again before it starts" mom smiled and I nodded.
The whole way to the courthouse, I couldn't stop thinking about what Zach said yesterday. About Hannah. He spoke of her like she was the love of his life. Why? Why her? Why was everybody so head over heels for her? And she did nothing to receive all the attention, she was naturally beautiful, she had a beautiful body and apparently she was the nicest person to walk the earth. So why wasn't she nice to me? "Roxanne, honey. We're here" mom said and I snapped out of my thoughts "Oh yeah of course" I said and got out of the car. There were already a bunch of reporters there and the fact that mom was mayor didn't help. Cedric informed me about what questions they might ask and how I should respond to certain situations. I was waiting on the hall beside him and mom when I spotted Jeff "Hey" he smiled as he walked up to me "Thanks for coming" I said, hugging him "Of course, you're my girl" he said and kissed my forehead "Anxious?" he asked "No, I just want to get it over with" I said. I didn't notice Zach also came until I was sitting on the left side of the judge, looking out to the crowd on people "Roxanne, how did you become friends with Hannah Baker?" the Bakers' lawyer asked "We were assigner on a project together in class" I said "And how would you describe your relationship with her?" he asked "At first, she was nice. I heard about the rumors with the picture and how people were saying Hannah was easy and I was nice to her. What people were saying was very rude. At first, we seemed to get along so well and I thought it was unfair what happened to her so I wanted to change her reputation from a slut to a nice girl again. That's why and how we started hanging out, I brought her everywhere with me, I introduced her to my friends" I said "Did she seem happy?" he asked "She did, she told me she was glad we became friends" I said "Why did you two stop being friends?" he asked "I told her about this boy I liked since 8th grade, it was the only boy I was ever interested in" I said "Who is that boy?" he asked "Zach Dempsey" I answered and he nodded "So, you liked Mr. Dempsey. What next?" he asked "I told her about him every day and how I wished he'd just notice me. But he didn't, instead he noticed her and I kept seeing him talk to her. One day, I confronted Hannah about it after the incident in the cafeteria" I said "What incident?" he asked "I saw her and Zach talking and she was smiling and everything. That's when I told her I hated her" I said "So, just because she talked to the boy you liked you bullied her?" he asked "I didn't bully her. I never went and pushed her against the lockers or throw her books or make her trip or things like that. But I did say certain things about her" I said "What things?" he asked "I told my friends that she's a liar, that she's not a good person and that she only cares about herself" I said "Did you and Hannah ever become friends after that?" he asked "Yes, when summer started. We bumped into each other at the Cresmont and she told me she never meant to hurt me. So I decided to forgive her" I said "So she was a nice person after all" he said "No, she wasn't. She lied to me all summer" I said "How?" he asked "She knew I liked Zach yet she had a secret relationship with him the whole summer" I said "Did you know about this?" he asked "No, I only found out yesterday, as did you all" I said "No further questions your honor" he said and sat down. The school's lawyer stood up and walked closer to me "I'd like to pick up where we just left off. So Hannah never once mentioned to you about her relationship with Zach Dempsey?" she asked "No" I said "Did she ever say anything about Justin Foley? Or the kiss with Alex Standall?" she asked "Objection! Relevance?" the Baker's lawyer spoke "Goes to motif" she spoke "I'll allow it" the judge said "Yes, in fact she always talked about boys. You can say that's just a thing girls do but that seemed like the only thing she cared about some days" I said "What was she like when you told her about Mr. Dempsey?" she asked "She kept giving me advice, telling me what to change about myself in order for him to like me. And when I'd ask her how she knew she'd only say to trust her" I said "I see. Is it true that you suffer from multiple eating disorders?" she asked and I sighed "Yes" I said "Do you recognize these?" she asked and handed me a couple pieces of paper "Yes, they are pages from my diary" I said "Could you read the highlighted parts out loud for the courtroom?" she asked and I cleared my throat "It was like I finally found a friend. Someone who supported me and helped me. She was the one who gave me motivation not to eat and help me hide it from everybody else" I read "So what you're saying is that Hannah Baker, knowingly that you suffer from a delicate series of eating disorders, convinced you to starve yourself?" she asked "Y-Yes" I said "Go on, keep reading" she said "Hannah says that if I want to be noticed by Zach I need to be skinnier and I think she's right. Once I'm skinny I'll be beautiful enough for someone like him" I read "Again, she proceeded to push you to your limits, a dangerous limit that causes people all around the world to die" she said and I put the paper down "Why did yours and Hannah's friendship end yet again?" she asked "When school started, I got into a relationship with Zach Dempsey and she didn't like it. She told me that he will break up with me because I'm not skinny enough" I said "Did she every day anything about you the other time, the first time you stopped being friends?" she asked "I heard rumors, people that didn't like me because I was popular always kept saying how I was a bitch and that I was unfair to Hannah and how she was a nice friend but I was a crazy and obsessed girl" I said "So Hannah started those rumors about you" she said "Objection! Speculation!" the Baker's lawyer spoke "Withdrawn, I'll rephrase. Do you think Hannah started those rumors? Or at least any of them?" she asked "Yes, they were saying things I only told Hannah before" I said "Did you tell the school about it?" she asked "Yes and the principle made sure to held a speech about unity and strength at Liberty on Spirit Week" I said and she nodded "Did Hannah ever mention to you speaking to the school about her troubles with bullying?" she asked "No, she never said anything about the picture nor the list. I'm body president and I had students coming to me when they feel mistreated and they're too scared or embarrassed to talk to the teachers. But Hannah never said anything" I said "Right. In your words, how would you describe Hannah Baker?" she asked "Hannah was someone who could be nice if she wanted, really nice. She had a lot of friends. But she drove them all away with her jealousies and her overreacting. She blew things way out of proportion sometimes. She got offended when the world didn't revolve around her, and that's the truth. She called me out on that, saying horrible things about me on her tape. But the truth is she should've looked in the mirror. I don't think everybody is the bad guy and she's the helpless victim, I think she had her negative traits that she didn't want to embrace so it was easier for her to blame others" I said "Would you say she's a quote 'attention seeker'?" she asked "As mean as that sounds, yes. She liked the attention. I'm sorry I have to say this, I really am. I wish I would have only nice things to say about Hannah but this is real life and this is the reality of things. I think she's a backstabber for doing what she did to me regarding Zach Dempsey and influencing me into self-destruction. She says she was bullied but she was a bully herself. She was selfish for taking her own life and deciding to not deal with her demons" I said "Do you think it's right to hold the school accountable?" she asked "If someone doesn't ask for help, nobody can provide it for them. She played metaphor games, expecting people to guess what she meant. I don't think it's fair that the school and a bunch of kids are held accountable. I believe bullying is wrong, any kind of bullying. But there's a difference between bullying and jokes" I said "What do you mean by that?" she asked "The Hot or Not list. It wasn't just Hannah on it, there were a bunch of other people, myself included. It wasn't meant to bully people, it was just a joke. Like I said, bullying is the use of superior strength or influence to intimidate someone typically to force them to do something. Having your name under 'Best Ass' on a stupid list is not bullying. Hannah being called a slut and people spreading rumors about her was wrong, I agree to that. But she never said anything to the people that might've been able to help her. Mrs. Baker is convinced that Liberty wasn't a safe environment for Hannah but what about her home?" I asked "Objection!" the Baker's lawyer spoke "Your Honor, the opposite party is trying to silence the witness" the woman spoke "I'll allow it" the judge said "When are the parents to be blamed? Isn't home supposed to be the place safest for kids? You should be able to tell your parent everything? If Hannah would've felt safe at home, if her parents would've been there to notice the signs of their daughter not being happy, maybe things were different" I said "Thank you Miss Campbell" the lawyer smiled "No further questions" she said and sat down.