Carry Me On

Decided to create a new story:) Hope you guys like it...

This is just a starter to seeif you guys will enjoy it, I promise it gets better.

If I only knew that committing suicide wouldn’t completely end my life then I wouldn’t have even considered. If I knew that I would be stranded on this earth to watch life still go on I would have probably cherished it more. But you never know about what happens after you die, I always thought that everyone goes someplace good. Christians say we go to heaven once we pass on. Then where is heaven?

Maybe… just maybe this is hell. Here I am watching my dad mourn my death alongside my sister. We are all watching as my casket is being slowly pulled down into the earth. Yep. This is definitely hell, I’m watching as my body is being laid to rest when I’m.. certainly not resting.

I looked down at my arms and felt a pang of sadness staring at the scars they still carry. Still have to see the cause of my death… great.

“Dad, I told you she had been wanting to do this.” I looked up to find my sister crying. “But all you did was ignore me while she sat there and hurt herself. She told you herself that she needed help but you just went off to spend time with Clara and her family.”

My dad just bowed his head in hands and began crying.

What she was saying was true, my dad never really showed signs of caring. All he did was shove me away and say I was just going through a teenage phase. One of the many reason why I chose to do this.

“But Teagan, I didn’t think she would do something as bad as this!” My dad sobbed as he dropped to the wet ground and pounded his fist into the damp earth. This is only half of the emotion I’ve seen him show. He likes to let it all out in his room at night.

“She had been cutting herself since the sixth grade. Anna was capable of doing much worse and she ended up proving it true in the end. Now look where she is, she’s up in heaven with Mom.” Wrong, I’m standing right here next to you guys. I haven’t seen Mom, I don’t know where she is.

“Well,” my dad mumbled as he wiped away his tears, “we have to go now.. We love and miss you so much Anna. Bye Anna bear.” He got off the ground and touched my newly made grave.

Teagan kissed the tips of her fore and middle fingers and touched my grave. “Bye Anna.”

My chest swelled up with grief as I watched them walk out of the cemetery towards the car. I had to force myself to stay as I watched them drive away.

“Bye Teagan, bye Dad.” I mumbled aloud as I went to stand next to my newly filled grave.

Taking a deep breath I walked over to where my mom’s grave is. Kneeling down, I touch her name, drawing the dark gold engravings.

KENDRA HARRIS

I touched my forehead to her grave and let the tears spill.

When I committed suicide I thought she would be by my side in the other world. But all I was greeted with was the coldness of the morgues freezer. Not what I expected after I killed myself.

"Mom, are you just disappointed in me? Do you hate the fact that I chose to end my life before I was meant to die? I just wanted to be with someone who I thought cared about me.” My tears never touch the ground as they quickly disappeared when they fell.

If only I knew it would be like this when I killed myself.

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