Truth of the blade

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The feeling of the blade on my skin Makes me feel alive and makes the pain and the stress not weigh so heavy. The blood leaving my body feels like when you first dip under water in the pool. Most aren't going to understand. The feeling of taking my fingers a crossed my cuts, how it makes you feel. I cut but I don't want to die I just love the feeling of the blade on my skin the feeling of the blood and the scar tissue on my body. Most might think I'm crazy I am but that's not why I cut , I to let go of everything that happened that because of a major break down or to let go of my past or something I've done wrong to the people I love and care about. For me when I feel I've really messed up I break down and shut down and talk in that moment I wanna hurt my self because I feel as if I really hurt the person I love. I can't control the Impulse's. Cutting is a way of coping for me not a cry for help. People think it's easy to just stop after you started up again the hardest thing to do is say "I don't need the blade" and to just throw the blade away it's hard when your surrounded by blades. You can't just magically stop cutting once you started you have to ease off less cuts each day find another way that will only help for while like rubber bands or coloring or anything to help besides cutting , but nothing will take the edge off like cutting does the only thing I've found that helps me is smoking weed but it's still not as relieving as cutting but that's the truth behind my blade part one.

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⏰ Last updated: May 23, 2018 ⏰

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