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『 chapter xlvi : IDES OF MARCH. 』
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RIGHTFULLY, JULIUS CAESAR DID NOT TAKE the warnings of his wife and advisors to stay home on the fateful day of it his death — a death that had been seen by his wife, a death that he had said, was unavoidable if the gods have declared it so. Julius had scoffed at the dead men had of dying, dying was inevitable for all man, there's no natural way around it. Of course, maybe Julius Caesar didn't know how Cold Ones, but that's neither here nor there. Caesar went on and said, cowards die many times before their death, the valiant never taste death but once. And that's when it hit June. Was she coward? Because she'd only physically die once, but as she sat numbly on her grandmother's couch, cursing the gods for forcing her hand in taking the life of the only child she'd ever have, June was certain she's died many times already.
Juniper looks back on it; her metaphorical deaths. She died when she learned she was prophesied to perish. She died when Jacob imprinted on her, unknowingly sealing his fate. She died when she had turn her soulmate bond onto another girl, just to make sure Jacob wouldn't meet that fate. She died when her thighs stained red in her bathtub and the abdominal pain rocked her harder than anything she's ever felt.
Juniper Swan has died many times.
"Drink this," Iris comes to her side.
June looks at her, "I don't want to drink anything else."
"It's for the pain," Iris insists.
"I didn't know hey made liquid redemption for girls like me," June muses but takes the bottle nevertheless. She stares blankly ahead, "I guess it wouldn't matter if I became a Cold One or not ... I'm damned regardless."
"Don't say such things," Iris frowned.
June doesn't have a sassy remark for her this time. She doesn't have the energy to fight with her grandmother. Not after she helped her out of a potential damning situation. June might never be mother but it's no ones, not even deaths, fault but her own. Because she's too impulsive. Too pessimistic and too set in a fate that she's been itching to fulfill since she was ten years old. Some people are just not meant to live — it's got nothing to do with the love/or lack of thereof around them, sometimes people are just born sad, nothing you say can change that. For a moment maybe. But you'll do nothing but prolong the issue. June was tired of prolonging things.
