Gypsy~S.M.

Anxious

I'm thinking of doing Shawn's pov even though he wasn't suppose to come into the story til they meet. Going to try it out.

I don't know how I can possibly be so bored on a Friday night. Everybody's busy and nobody's texting me back. The young man thinks to himself and falls back on his bed. His mind continues its rant-people have this idea of what it's like to be famous, but no one really knows how lonely it can be. Sure you have millions of followers on social media, a phone full of contacts who would make anyone jealous, but how many are actual real connections. I know I shouldn't complain but being a celebrity isn't wonderful all the time. Of course I'm grateful and yeah I'm living my best life so I should just stop with all this self-pity right now.

Shawn reaches up to rub his eyes and then runs his hand through his puffy hair. All these thoughts rushing through his head and instantly he feels bad for even thinking them. He knows he should be more grateful and satisfied with the life, the friends, and the family that he has. Sitting up slowly he sighs and looks around his bedroom. He's watched all the Harry Potter movies this afternoon and is burned out on T.V. He spots his guitar against his desk, but he played it for hours before the marathon. Suddenly his mouth forms a  crooked smile. There is one thing that always makes him feel better. His fans or friends he thinks to himself. They are more than even friends. They are like a giant fuzzy, warm hug to him-the Mendes Army. He let's out a tiny laugh at the last thought as he's still not use to the thought of a fandom as huge as an army.

He reaches for his phone to log in to Instagram, then goes to grab his guitar. He had spent an hour this morning reading posts on his newly released song Lost in Japan. He alternated between taking in the praise and laughing at the jokes. Shawn had to admit a lot of his fans have dirty-minded humor. Just like he does, but that's a secret he won't put out in public. He remains neutral, but inwardly laughs at all the dirty jokes and posts. His favorite so far was all the Lost in Japanties comments. He so wishes he could like or retweet them.

Instead he decides to post a quick story of him singing the song. A way to pass time before bed and show love to the fans. Quickly, he runs his fingers through his hair again, wets his lips and starts the video. Minutes later he posts two parts. Laying the guitar down, Shawn watches the vids. Nope. He thinks. Dont like how I hit that note. He quickly deletes one of the posts. "Shit," he says out loud. He was suppose to work on trying to not delete posts. He shrugs an oh well to himself. He knows his fans will call him out on it and already caught it.

Shawn puts his guitar away and heads to the dark kitchen for a water. He thinks about making a snack, but feels like its a waste for one person.  The lonely feeling rolls up on him again. He really wants a connection. A girlfriend to share things with, but he's never been one to settle. And no one has peaked his interest enough to go all in relationship wise. Just flings and hopeful starts that lead to dead ends. He knows when a girl makes him feel like music does, he will be ready and he'll do whatever it takes to make it work. But for now bed. At a grandpa time of  night as usual.