The period ended and I made my way to Mr. Kim's classroom, which is where detention is located. As I entered the room I noticed the kids that were all sitting in desks across from each other or completely on the other side of the room from each other. There were six kids, not including me, in detention. I decided to sit at this long L shaped desk in the corner of the room because no one else was sitting there, and I wanted to be alone. After I sat down and got my things situated the classroom door opened and Taemin entered. Honestly, I wasn't that surprised, but what surprised was his polite smile and wave to me as he took the seat quite close to mine. I tried to ignore him, but I kept thinking about his reaction to Mina kissing me. Was he mad? I don't think he was if he had just smiled at me like nothing happened. I wanted to take action so I texted him. Do you have feelings? If so why don't you use them? His phone vibrated which then led him to see my text, and he looked up at me and then back down at his phone. I have feelings for you, but you won't accept them. I know you have feelings for me, but you won't accept those either. I cringed at his choice of words but went along with it. Aren't you mad at me for kissing Mina, and not you? That's why you set off the alarm. I stared at him throughout this entire thing, and when I sent him those texts his facial expression went from happy to angry. It took him longer than usual to respond.
I sat there staring and waiting for him to put his fingers on his phone and respond to me. He sighed and began to type. My phone vibrated a couple moments later, I can't stand it when you won't realize how I feel for you. I don't care about other people, only you. It hurts when I see you with other people because I know you can do much better. He ended the text with a weird smiling face thing. I rolled my eyes and began to type my response, when will you notice that I can't date you or like you. I won't allow myself to. Once he read my text he moved two seats closer to me I backed away but stood my ground. "Why can't you love me?" he asked me. "I just can't, it hurt-" I stopped talking before I fully exposed myself.
He didn't say anything, just stared blankly at me. I questioned him, "do you not understand?" He leaned back in his chair and looked up and the ceiling as if he was going to cry. He sighed, "is that really why you haven't let me love you? Is it because I hurt you?" I let a tear roll down my cheek but turned away so he wouldn't notice. Tae began to be angry, he kept breathing deeply and looking around the room. "I can't do anything for you, I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear. "I can't take this." He got out of his chair and just walked out of the room. I was shocked because we were in detention and I thought he would've gotten in trouble, but the teacher that was supposed to be surveying us was sleeping. I thought about what I should do next.
I didn't think long because my body ran after him while my mind was left in a shocked state. I continued to follow him. He led us to the roof. "What are you doing up here?" I asked worried about what he might do. Taemin turned so his back faced me, and he pulled something out of his jacket. "Why did you follow me?" he asked with a shaky voice. "I am worried about you." He looked up but then back down at the object he pulled out of his jacket. "What is that?" I questioned. "It's a gun," he bluntly said as he held it up to the side of his head. "Stop!" I screamed and ran to him. I hugged him for the first time in 5 months. He dropped to his knees releasing the gun from his hands and we both started to sob. "Why the hell would you do that?" I murmured. "I-I hurt you," he said. "Wha- no. No, no, no. You didn't. I'm just preventing myself from getting hurt." I turned his body to face me as we sat there on the school roof. "Let's try again," I stated, my words shocked him. "Really?" I nodded to prove my statement.
I ushered him to follow me back to the classroom. When we arrived back to the classroom we realized that no one else was in the class. Both Taemin and I were confused. I checked the clock on the back wall. "Detention is over," I said. "Let's leave together," Taemin suggested. "Okay," I followed after him as he left the classroom and then left the school. We were standing in the school parking lot, "hey let's go to the warehouse together. I can give you a ride," Taemin said. "Sure let's go." He stared at me looking kind of surprised at my response.
He gestured me towards his car, which I then entered and we were on our way. Every few minutes I would catch him looking over at me, "you should keep your eyes on the road." He giggled and turned his vision to the front window. It was quiet throughout the entire ride there, but when we arrived there I felt a familiar feeling. Seeing the warehouse made me remember all of the "fun" times I shared with Taemin. After replaying all of the memories in my head a shiver went down my spine as I actually realized what I had gotten myself into.
