Music and Lyrics (ThomAra OneShots)

Kung Wala Ka

THOMAS POV

  Some years ago, I was in relationship with my girlfriend named Ara for almost three years. We became official after our college graduation. People call us the 'ideal couple, stable job, good status in life. We are open to both our families and almost all the people that we know can really tell that we would end up with each other.

  This all changed when I got into an accident. The last thing i remembered was i bumped with a truck and i had no choice but to turn the car. The next thing i knew, i was already in a hospital and i cant remember things clearly.

My girlfriend that time was holding my hand when I woke up but i got shocked because i wasnt able to recognize her.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!??" i shouted.

"babe" the only word she was able to utter.

My mom went to direction and gave me hug while i was crying. Dun ko lang napansin na sobrang namamaga ang mga mata nila prolly because of crying including my girlfriend's. But because i wasnt able to recognize her that time i just ignored her and didnt give a single shit about her. Instead, i looked for my ex because during that time as far as i can remember my ex-girlfriend is my girlfriend. Ara was confused and hurt during that time but i just keep on asking my mom on "where is Arra?"

They all got confuse on what's happening to me that time. My mom keeps telling me that i already did broke up with my ex before but i didnt listen to them and continued looking for Arra.

I found out i was in coma for three weeks and the doctor said that my condition is just temporary but it actually took almost a year before i fully recovered. My girlfriend was in the hospital everyday. She feeds me every time but i really just ignore her and still keeps on looking for Arra. Everytime dadating siya sa hospital i act like im sleeping until aalis na ulit siya. If she talks to me i just respond with short answers. I was really barbaric that but she was very patient with me.

One time she was slicing an apple, susubuan niya sana ako kaso hindi ko talaga binubuksan ang bibig ko. She left the fruit instead but i still did ignore it. Everytime i wake up at naabutan ko na hinahawakan niya ang kamay ko agad ko itong binabawi.  I never had any idea how I love this girl.

Arra visited me in the hospital and i was so happy. I couldnt imagine how Ara was really hurt that time when i had a really huge smile seeing Arra while i just ignore her all the time. Arra talked about how we broke up. I didnt believe Arra and i really insisted that i love her so much. I was already crying that time and i didnt know that my girlfriend was also secretly sobbing. To cut this short Ara had too much of me being so insensitive.  I didn't even give her the chance. Chance to get to know her better while Arra had move on and is already in a relationship.

I couldnt describe on how much pain ive caused to her so i cant also blame her if she did give up already. The three happy years was gone in a snap and i wasnt able to feel something because i cant remember her and how we used to be that time.

We are good friends now. She's married to our college colleague, Jeron, one of our close friends and i can see that she's really happy.

The moment they both invited me to their wedding, I never told anyone even my family that I remember everything. I remember us and the dreams we hoped to achieve together. I remember our plans of getting married in a garden with a very rare motif. Now I do not know which hurts more- losing all those dreams or seeing you fulfill them with someone else.  

I still question the universe on why this happened to us of all people. It's very unfair. What could a mere human fight against fate? And i wasnt even able to have the chance to get you again. What sucks most is that I do not know who to blame for losing you. Im stuck here with all the regrets out from the mistakes I did because I did not know.

I still love you but I know you are settled now. I am just silently hoping that the next time I get into an accident, I could totally forget you because in my situation right now, its so impossible.

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