Beautiful Pain

Sad note

"Morning dad" I heard my self say 'dad' like the word disgusts me, it does sort of, " Penelope " that's his usual reply, who even names their kid that??? i was waiting for it, not like I care if he replied or not I did not expect to see him at home today I've not set eyes on him for over three weeks, what's he doing here? Oh he lives here! My bad I rolled my eyes while talking to myself, but the reply did not come as usual instead i heard something different, "Penny, you've not had breakfast yet" "uhhh?" I was trying to think I was between surprised and in disbelief, " come and have breakfast honey, I'll drop you" "uhhh??" Why do I keep doing that, but really I'm speechless! Oh God my dad's gonna die, that's the only reason why he's being nice to me, oh good Lord please, he hates me, but I don't he's the only parent I've. "Hey" his voice brought me back " I don't do breakfast " I heard my voice tremble my face was down I could not face him" oh,honey you need to start, I made pancakes" "huhhh" i sighed really pancakes?? I don't eat that I grab my bag, for some reasons I felt hurt, today of all days it was better when he just ignored me, why did me try to have a conversation when he knows nothing about me! " Penny !" I heard him call tears were already forming in my eye "I'm going to school" I stormed out, went straight to my car I sat in there for over ten minutes trying to clear my head " Pen you're strong, you've survived this for years you can't feel bad today" i do this all the time, when I feel unwanted, when my brother denies me in school!

   I drove to school on a very high speed, with loud music playing.
" she's here!!" Ali said almost whispering, pointing in my direction!  "What?" I asked her raising one of my brows "come sit" Kay lead me to our normal corner of the class before we could talk Miss Mira walked into the classroom.
Miss Mira is our history teacher from a part of L.A, tall with chocolate brown hair and a beautiful face, I heard she's a single mom, she has a daughter Neyomi, her dad is African.
"Morning students"  "Morning Ma'am".
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Time is really flying today, school is almost over I could hardly concentrate the thought of walking out on " him" makes me feel sad, "What if he thinks I'm a rebellious? Uhhh who cares"
Grrrrriiiiinnnnnggggggggggg!!!!
Oh great now school's over,the loud sound of the bell brought me back to reality. I had no plans for today, nobody is gonna be home anyway, my brother has soccer practice today, I kept thinking to myself as I walked to my car, got in and started the engine this time I was listening to a slow jam "Hello" by Adiel.