Well if you're reading this right now, I'm probably right beside you reading this with you too. I first published this around April last year, incase you were wondering, and the previous chapter was posted two days before you officially asked me to be your girlfriend.
Wow! Can you believe.
This was my sad book before I properly had a sad book. Don't ask me why I succumbed into writing on here, I guess I just felt the need to profess my feelings to the world without actually telling you.
Today (as you read this, not as I type this) is the 24th of May and there's exactly 4 more days until our 11th monthsary. Can you believe how fast time flies? I know I say that a lot and everything's probably getting a little redundant but it's still really, really amazing to me. Especially looking back to what I've written here a year ago.
If you felt hurt by this in any way (I understand if you do), I'm sorry, I hope I'm doing a great job at comforting you at the moment 😰
After you've read all this I think I'm going to delete this for good (unless you don't want me to, idk, you make the call) because I don't think I should dwell on the past too much. I do that too often honestly I'm not sure if that's a good thing but I'm such a sap when it comes to looking back at things eeeeeee
Anyways I just want to take this opportunity to thank you for all you've given me so far, your love, time, affection, care and so, so much more. Still no words can properly explain the depth of how much I love you, but I hope I show that enough in real life. They say action speaks louder than words, right?
Oh my God I have now begun crying ffs WHY AM I LIKE THIS BIIIIII
I sincerely appreciate all that you've done for me.
I realised that everyone loves differently, so I feel like it's wrong to have a "I'd do this for them, they should do this for me too," kind of mindset. Honestly speaking, I've had that mindset for a certain extent of time and I guess the realisation hit me pretty hard.
This relationship has taught me a lot of things, in my opinion it changed me for the better too. In terms of understanding people and all. God damn I had this like really nice line in mind that I wanted to say bUT I CAN't remEMBER IT BI
Anyway most importantly, this relationship has taught me what it's like to be in love and how it feels to be loved.
We've gone through quite a few ups and downs, although we never argue, but there's always me being a piece of shit every month so there's THAT to deal with. And you handle it really well tbh so kudos to you thank you for never giving up on me
I really can't stress on that enough
Thank you for never giving up on me.
Ccb I am now crying AGAIN wow cy u need some self control ok I think this is getting too out of hand I should stop writing soon.
I'll just list down a bunch of things I want to say to you, even though I have said most of these before, but fuck it I'll say it again because the previous chapters were things I'd never say to you so whY THE FUCK NOT END THIS WITH THINGS I'd always say to you am I right yes wow Legend Authors Only
I'm sorry for worrying you whenever I get sad;
I'm sorry I'm always making myself sad wtf;
I'm sorry for all the times I've ever hurt you (not on purpose ok never on purpose);
I'm sorry you have to be the strong one all the time;
I promise I'll be better.
Thank you for putting up with my shit all the time;
Thank you for constantly taking care of me;
Thank you for never giving up on me;
Thank you for loving me for who I am;
And I know you're going to say something along the lines of "Don't thank me bah" but fuck I can't help it I'm just so thankful to have someone like you by my side chao I'm probably one of the most difficult people to deal with yet here you are handling me so well for almost 11 months wtf when will anyone else ever 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck my nose is blocked now
Lastly,
I love you. So much. More than stupid Wattpad chapters can explain, more than how much I believe in aliens, more than the amount of stars in the entire universe, more than I could ever love a person. Which is kinda scary to think about, but I swear I've never loved anyone as much as I love you now. Fuck
I am crying so hard
I love you, I love you, I love you.
So much more than you will ever know.
❤️
