Letters to You

Annie

Annie. One simple word has never meant so much. The girl who ruined you,who you keep letting systematically ruin your life. "She's the reason I cut...this is what she did to me". I can't help but wonder what happened to the happy boy from a year ago;he was sweet and kind. Maybe he was a bit of a geek,but he was the you that I have only seen in pictures. You walk around school in a sweater with thumb holes so you don't have to explain "what she did". You always say you see that you're a peice of shit and worthless,but to me you're so amazing. You make me want to be good and not that BS good that means I'll give a homeless guy a McRib. I mean I see people that I cannot stand but I don't say anything because of you.

You make me want to be a girl you can love. An Annie or a Jacquie(minus being a raging bitch). I want to be someone you can be proud of,and I have worn myself thin trying to be people I'm not. So I get it. You can't choose to love me anymore than I can choose not to love you. And that's ok;I understand but I'll always love you. You have taught me that I am capable of caring about others. That I don't have to feel alone. You have brought about the epic famines and plentys in my life and I would just like to ssy thank for being you. The perfect little dork who listens to PTV and has never seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding or Dreamgirls. The amazing ol geek that waves at me during 5 in 30s in athletics. The weirdo who gives me hugs that I don't want but can't live without. You have given me the greatest gift of all and I just hope that one day you can love somebody anybody half as much as I have and do love you. I'll probably show this to you towards the end and then you can know while you thought no one loved you I was there.
Sincerely,
Hurting