Everything is Not Okay A Fault in Our Stars Sequel

His Legacy Living On Through Me (Literally)

It started off just a basic day. Two months after Gus' death, and I'm just at home watching America's Next Top Model like I always do. I don't go to that stupid group support anymore. After Augustus died, I really didn't see a point to it. Their "We're here for you Hazel" 's in a fake robotic monotone were without a doubt fake.

One of the things I hate more than that was the pity given even if it was all real. It's kind if like those attention seeking photos on Facebook with the small infant with a birth defect, or the two legged cat or whatever it is; no matter how many likes it gets, it won't fix them. I believe I'm kind of like one of those obnoxious pictures because, no matter how much sympathy and pity I get, we all know it won't fix my thyroid cancer. No matter what people say, my days are numbered, and not a single ounce of pity can change that.

I feel a terrible churning in my stomach and run to the bathroom as fast as I can. I open up the toilet, and begin vomiting on cue (sorry for such details). "Oh Great. Another morning like this, and I'll have nothing left but my guts to throw up", I think to myself. These odd sicknesses have been going on for about two weeks. My parents have also noticed that I have been eating more. Is this a sign that I'm dying?

My mom and dad come bursting in the bathroom with fright upon their faces. "Hazel!!! That's the fourth time this week!", my mom says worriedly clutching the phone tightly in he hands. Just great! she probably scheduled a doctor's appointment. Don't I go there enough already!?! "It's probably just a cold. It is almost flu season", I say trying to influence her decision.

"Flu season is not for another three months, Hazel. we already called a doctor, and you have an appointment in half an hour so get ready", my dad says scolding me like a child once again. I love my parents dearly, but can they treat me like the 18 year old I am? I almost wonder if after I die if they'll try having another kid. Sometimes I feel that my cancer has disappointed them. All my parents wanted was to have a normal child in a normal family. They certainly didn't sign up for this. I guess that's why kids don't exactly have Cancer Proof Warranties, or a return policy. I wonder if they did, if they would have returned me. I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but that's just me being me. My attitude is another symptom of death.

I run upstairs to my room to get dressed, and pass a photo of Gus and I hanging on the wall. It was of us inside the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. Ah. I will never forget spending a couple of days in Amsterdam with Gus. I mean, I kind of gave my virginity to the guy so, who can forget it? That's another thing I'll never tell my parents. You can't blame me though, right? How could you even tell your parents that without making it awkward, or you getting in a shit load of trouble. Not that it helps, but if I did tell them, they can't ground me from seeing him. Not that it's much of a plus.

I put on a sky blue blouse with a plaid flannel cover up. I pull a pair of blue jeans up to my waist, and grab a pair of converse from the floor. I walk downstairs trying to stall as much as I can, but it doesn't help. I'm soon ushered into my fathers car and no later then that, my mom and dad pile into the small convertible. Although my dad is usually a calm driver, he is taking no time today. He's 13 miles over the speed limit, and it's starting to scare me, and my mom.

"Geez Dad, it's not like I'm in labor", I say hoping joking will ease him enough to slow down. In 10 fast minutes, I am quickly driven to the hospital, and escorted inside. I soon in a hospital room with a doctor I've never seen before, which is quite odd. Being a Cancer patient, I know every doctor in this hospital, and I don't say that proudly at all.

This one looks fairly young; her long wavy brown hair pulled away from her fair skinned face, her hazel eyes shimmering through her glasses. "Hello Mr., Mrs., and Ms. Lancaster! I'm your doctor for today. My name is Bailey Richardson", the woman says cheerfully.

We exchange greetings, and I'm soon put in the most awkward part of the whole appointment, the questions. Now I'm sure you've all been through this, but if not, you're incredibly lucky you immune bastard! They always ask questions about how often you shit, and what color it is. Oh and for people my age or older, they ask about your sex life! I'm sorry but I don't feel like announcing such graphic details in front of my parents, or anyone at that matter!

"Now as I know how uncomfortable these may be, I have to ask you some personal and incredibly awkward questions, Hazel. Would both Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster please exit the room for a minute or two?" , Bailey asks kindly. Finally a doctor with decency! I mouth "Thank You", as my parents leave through the door. "I know how awkward it can be answering these questions to a stranger, let alone in front of a stranger and your parents", she says being incredibly relatable. "You have no idea", I say laughing slightly.

She nods and pulls her clipboard and pen closer to her. "When was the last time you had sex?", she asks looking up from the paper on her clipboard and right at me. "I-I haven't y-yet", I stutter trying to cover up that lie as much as possible. She raises her eyebrows in disbelief, and looks practically right through me. "Ok about three months ago", I sigh reminiscing the night. It was perfect; he brought me back to his hotel room, and he was so gentle and sweet about it.

She nods and writes this down on her paper. "Have you been getting any cravings?", she asks. I nod sheepishly, and look down at my small barely noticeable stomach. "For almost everything", I say adding, incredibly embarrassed. She nods and pulls something out of her drawer. "There's a bathroom outside to the left. I want you to simply urinate in this, and bring it back", she instructs giving me a small orange medical container.

I nod, and walk outside of my room, and into the bathroom. I am gonna skip the details for your convenience, but I pee in the cup, and bring it back just like that (for you sick people that were looking for a description, use you're imagination). She nods, grabs the cup, and puts a thermometer like thing inside of it. "Are you gonna check the temperature of my urine?", I ask sounding incredibly stupid. "No Hazel, this is a pregnancy test. From the symptoms you described there's a chance you could be pregnant",

Bailey says looking back at me with kind eyes. PREGNANT?! That's impossible! "I can't be pregnant Doctor, I made sure Gus wore protection!", I argue still in complete shock. "Hazel you know the accuracy percentage of condoms right?", she asks looking at me. "95% right?", I ask trying to remember what my health teach Mr. Barnes told us in Sex Ed. "Correct, although that's fairly a high percent, there's a chance you could be that other 5", she says trailing off.

I sit down on the hospital bed before I have an aneurysm from all the shock.

rub my temple with my palm and index finger, and look down at my small stomach. Me? Raise a child? I'm not ready, and what if I die, and let my kid down? I can't be pregnant. No way, No How!!!

Bailey looks at the pregnancy test in the cup, wipes it off, and walks towards me. She hands me the round sick like object, and I almost faint. "Looks like you're the other five", she says while I look at the small blue positive sign on it.