Old-Fashioned Love

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I set the food on the old creaky table as my family digs in right away. I sit down and put food on my plate. My mother had her share of words to say when I finally arrived home the other day and she hasn't been the same with me since.

I have maintained myself away from the girls and inside the house cleaning and cooking as much as I can to get back into her good graces. I cut the portion of meat I put on my plate with a knife and bring it to my mouth.

The children laugh and grab each other's food as I look on. My mother never talks to anyone except me, she usually talked to my father but they have been fighting and he has been eating outside in the backyard for quite a while.

"Mother a few days ago I found this lovely dress that would fit perfectly on you at the department store on blueberries st. we should go tomorrow and see it," I say trying to make conversation.

She moves her food around and slowly takes bites before she moves it aside and gets up. "I'm busy tomorrow," she says emotionless and leaves the room without looking at me in the eye. Mark, my little brother throws his food at Benjamin's shirt.

"Hey, Mark go to your room and stay there until I come and talk to you," I say as I wipe Benjamin's shirt with a napkin. Mark looks sad and his eyes turn red as he runs up the stairs. When I finish cleaning Benjamin's shirt the kids go back to playing around.

I grab my plate and my mother's as I set them down at the kitchen sink and wash the food off of them. I finish up and wipe my wet hands on my dress. I don't like when she's disappointed in me, it makes me feel like i've failed her.

I move toward the small living room as I hear the television playing. My mother wipes her face with napkins and her shoulders shake ever so slightly. I hesitate but cautiously move to her and kneel down beside her. Her eyes are red and I try to think of anything to say.

"I'm sorry for acting like I did in church and leaving with the girls, I never meant to hurt you," I say sadly. She blows her nose and moves the napkins off her lap. She wipes all her tears away and stares at the screen.

"I hear mothers in this town all the time say that their daughters are smoking or robbing or kissing boys but I always had the fortune of saying how well my daughter behaved and listened to me, how she was an example for everyone in this town, " she says with a quiver in her voice.

I thought it wasn't possible for her to make me feel more guilty. Me, her perfect daughter makes imperfect choices. I know i'm not perfect but I like her to think of me just like that. I'd like to think of myself like that.

"I'm sorry. I promise you I will act on my best behaviour," I haven't said that since I was a little girl. Mother strokes my hair and wipes her face again from more tears. Making her cry is breaking my heart.

"I-It's okay sweetie, your ol'ma knows you will but to be completely certain you have to promise me something," she says. I kiss her hand and lay my head on her lap.

"Anything ma." She continues to stroke my hair and kisses my head. It takes her several minutes to say anything as we stay in those positions.

"You have to promise me that you'll never see those girls again, don't talk to them, don't call them, nothing," I can't speak. I've known Michelle, Peggy and Amy for as long as i've walked, their like my sisters. I can't just leave them.

But if I don't mother won't forgive me and I wouldn't be able to stand her disappointment. I look up at her and see her sweet smile. Who is more important? Of course it's mother but I need other people than her.

One answer can change my life, every answer can change the course of anyone's life. "I.... mother-" I stop myself and bite my lip. I don't know what to say. Mother cups my cheek affectionately.