σcєαη ѕℓαуєr / / / [fairy tail x reader]

cнαρтεя ғσυя

Plastic ruffled around when [Name] reached into a bag to pull out another treat, popping it into her mouth. She sighed in content when the sweet taste permeated through her taste buds, rippling through in waves. She continued to chew for a while, moving the sugary object around in her mouth. She couldn't get enough of the taste, she couldn't get enough of what it felt like when the treat when from a hard sphere to a squishy blob. After what seemed like an eternity-long diet of stale bread and nauseating water, the taste of a gumball was a delightfully foreign taste to her.

She pouted when she felt the bag's weight drop to nothing, an indicator that the bag was empty. She looked at the bag, not willing to make the discovery. Her mild disappointment set in as she tossed it in a nearby trash can. She smacked her lips in thought. It was such a good snack, full of flavor. Did people eat like that every single day without a second thought? The concept itself was astounding.

She scanned around the bustling town in its entirety. Filled with lots of civilians who bustled around, chatty and confident, as if they had all the time in the world and knew everything there was to know about it. They bustled around cobblestone plaza, with all their freedom and power and privilege, and they chose to stand in front a random vendor selling an object just as trivial as the gumball she just consumed?

The concepts were all new to her: everyday life. Walking through the streets with a sweater and shorts in perfect weather rather than rags. Strolling through the center of town with a couple of Jewels and a bag of candy rather than suffering in a cave. The feelings of being in the cave haunted her, the stretch of time that passed from being there failed to comfort the pain.

The feeling that still shook her most to the core was a feeling she'd never find herself doing in a million years:

Longing.

She found herself longing to return to the cave. Every time the feeling even began to creep up, she tried her best to beat it down with a stick and burn it into oblivion. And yet, she still found herself doing it. Something about the way the adrenaline coursing through her veins, the planning she did in her mind, the constant strain of staying awake. The crying, the depression, the hallucination, the psychosis. Seeing him, something about him playing a villain's role. Erik made her--

Erik.

She missed Erik. She hated herself for it, but she knew she missed Erik. There were times, even being in that repulsive cave with horrendous conditions, with her mind and reality slowly peeling away, that seeing Erik's face soothed her. There were times that Erik wasn't punching her square in the jaw. There were times that she saw him napping, the scowling and smirking were silenced, and all she could see was his handsome face finally serene. There were times that he brought her a little extra bread and even some fancy meat, and even occasionally a full meal. There were times where there was -- dare she say -- remorse in his eyes as he stared at her.

There was one time in particular when he hugged her, and he moved his lips towards her cheek, and --

She knew there was a void in her as soon as she woke up in the hospital bed with Lucy and Gray, and she knew that hole was him and being in the forest. She knew the void was growing, no matter how many times she went off by herself on random jobs and ate all the candy. She knew she was empty inside, and her life that was once filled with intense emotions, regardless of their negativity and positivity, was now dull. She once found herself free, outside, and alone in a forest bustling with creatures, but now all she found was the mundane drivel of everyday life.

[Name] jerked to the side as someone brushed past her, knocking her back into reality. Erik was gone, the forest was gone. She had to move on.